More Tales of MU

…or, Render Unto Magisterion

I took Iason up to my room then went to find Marlot. This was their first face-to-face since we’d learned what the bracelet did and I wanted to “manage” it a little bit.

She was in her room, counting out copper pennies into little piles. I knocked on the open door. She held up a hand. I waited, leaning against the doorframe, while she finished counting out the coins in her hand. She finished and looked up.

“Hey,” she said. “Sorry. Didn’t want to have to start over.”

“It’s fine. Where’d you get all that from?” I asked. She had seven finished mounds so far. Each pile was big enough have a silver’s worth in it. I knew she hadn’t brought that much small change with her.

“I’ve gotten in a few hands here and there,” she said. “Nothing big, but it adds up.”

“I can see that,” I said. A lot of times people who weren’t used to gambling would give away more than they meant to after insisting on sticking to coppers. I knew that from experience. It was still an impressive take.

“One and a half of these came from a little tiny burrow gnome with a great big mouth,” she said. “She imagined she was descended from a long line of card sharps. I could have had more out of her, but I bowed out when she started borrowing money from her friend to stay in the game.”

“Nice,” I said. “Think you can get her to come back again tonight?”

“I wouldn’t know how to find her again,” Marlot said. “Actually, I’m not sure how I found her in the first place. Anyway, when I said I was done playing, she said she was done ‘wasting her time’ with cards.”

“I hope her ancestors can get over their disappointment,” I said. “Anyway, on that subject, I wanted you to know I found another player.”

“Yeah, you’re good at finding players. Oh, and this one gave you a nifty wooden bracelet, too,” she said, looking at my wrist. I dropped my hand to my side. “What’s that one turn you into?”

“An independent person, actually,” I said. I stepped into the room. Privacy was an illusion in the dorms, but I’d take an illusion if we were going to talk about this.

“That would be about the first time jewelry ever did that,” Marlot said.

“Are you kidding?” I asked. “If I ever sold my earrings, I’d get at least a couple of years of independence out of them.”

“Yeah, except you won’t,” she said. “You can joke about it, but you’d never do that.”

“What makes you so sure about that?”

“I’m not sure of it,” she said. “But I know you, and I think you can accept somebody giving you an earring or six a lot more easily than you could deal with that kind of money.”

“Again, I say, what makes you so sure about that?” I asked.

“You aren’t greedy, Jamie. You don’t care that much about money.”

“Are you kidding?” I asked. “I didn’t spend all that time throwing darts because I had a deep-seated loathing of circular boards.”

“But all the time you spent hustling coins in the tavern, you never went for the big score,” she said. “You never went for the kill. The games were just, well, games to you. When somebody went through their pocket money and then pulled out a great big coin purse asking for a chance to win it back, you played it off.”

“There’s such a thing as quitting when you’re ahead,” I said. “That’s the difference between winning and losing in gambling. Anyway, taking the profits from somebody’s trip to market is a lot different from taking their beer money.”

“Like half of Agora’s economy doesn’t depend on the traders blowing their profits before they leave,” she said. “Somebody who’s willing to plunk down their whole purse on a game of darts with a kid is going to find some other hole to throw their money down. If they’re going to blow their wad anyway, why not let it be your hole they do it in?”

“Sexual torture of metaphors is against the Planar Declaration of Sentient Rights,” I said. “Anyway, you said you stopped squeezing the gnome when she started borrowing money. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is we’re talking about what you are or aren’t likely to do,” Marlot said. “I’m not judging you for it, Jamie. I’m just saying, this is how you are. This is who you are. When your mom sent you money, what was your first thought?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Probably something like ‘score!’”

“Yeah, sure. How long did it take for you to decide to spend it doing something nice for your friends?”

“If I like doing nice things for my friends, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t liquidate the earrings,” I said. “It just makes it kind of silly for you to try to talk me out of it.”

“I’m not trying to talk you out of it,” Marlot said. “If I thought I could talk you into it, I would. You had the right idea back home: quit while you’re ahead. Cash out now before you get in too deep.”

“You’re saying I should dump Iason and sell the earrings?” I asked. I held up the stag bracelet. “What am I supposed to do about this, then?”

“Use the money from the earrings to get it removed,” she said.

“Yeah, right,” I said. “Do you know how much I’d owe in taxes if I sold these things?”

“A lot less than you’d get for them,” Marlot said. “Being that taxes are a percent of income. And, on that subject, it would be the exact same amount you’ll owe on them already.”

“If that’s a prostitution joke, Mar, it’s weak. Real weak,” I said. “They were a straight-up gift, and you know it.”

“Gifts count as income,” she said. “Otherwise we’d all abandon currency for a potlatch system and Magisterion’s men would go hungry.”

“Like people go around reporting their Khersen presents to the assessors,” I said. I had a suspicion that she knew what she was talking about, though. She’d kept the books for her uncle since she was twelve.

“Don’t you think your friendly neighborhood curial might see a small difference between the socks your mom sent you and jewelry that comes with an insurance policy?”

“I don’t even file my own taxes,” I said. “My parents still claim me.”

“Right, so they’d have to explain why you’re walking around with the annual budget of Agora sticking out of your flesh,” Marlot said. “You think nobody’s going to recognize platinum and diamond when we go home for the holidays? You think they won’t spot the dwarven craftsmanship? We live in a market town, which means an awful lot of two things: folks who know the value of stuff, and gossip. Word would get out, and then it would get around, and then it would get back to the ears that matter. Besides, enchanted jewelry—even if it’s brand new—counts as treasure, and the imperium does not look kindly on people hiding treasure income.”

“You really think they’d bust down my door over this?” I asked, touching my ear.

“If you didn’t declare them and got caught for it, maybe you could just pay and get out of any harsher penalties with ‘heh heh oops, I’m just a dumb kid and didn’t know’,” Marlot said. “But it would be better to take care of it in advance than get caught after the fact.”

“But from what you’re saying, I’m screwed either way,” I said.

“If you keep the earrings, you’re going to be more dependent than ever on Iason when tax season comes around,” she said. “But if you sell them, you can give the emperor his share of the proceeds and everybody will be happy.”

“Except Iason,” I said.

“Are we caring about his happiness?”

“We’re not going out of our way to make him unhappy,” I said. “Not before we have to. Half a year from now, we might not even be together, and then I’d have no problem converting the earrings into something that’s easier to spend. Doing it now would be like giving him a slap in the face.”

“Right, now let’s look at the downside.”

“I just don’t want to go borrowing trouble, Mar.”

“I wouldn’t, either, if I had somebody so willing to give it to me interest-free.”

“Nice one,” I said. “Did I mention that Iason’s going to be joining us tonight?”

“I kind of gathered that, yeah,” she said, her eyes going again to the new bracelet. “So, when you said it made you independent, were you saying that one allegedly cancels out the other one?”

“That’s the story,” I said.

“And it’s a nice one,” she said. “But you might want to have it independently verified.”

“Yeah, I’ll just take some more of my earring proceeds and do that.”

“Jamie, this is the premier school of enchantment in the Imperial Republic,” Marlot said. “I’m sure we could find somebody who would tell you everything you want to know about those bracelets for cheap or free, because they find them interesting or because they can get a paper out of it or credit for it. Hell, if they’re some big old thing, let your lore professor get a good look at the original and just see what he says.”

“Maybe I’ll do that,” I said. “But are you going to be okay with Iason joining us?”

“I’ll deal with him fairly,” Marlot said. “If that’s not enough, that’s not my problem.”

“Okay,” I said. “Can’t really ask for more.”

“There you go not being greedy enough any more.”

“So when are we playing?” I asked.

“Probably after the floor meeting,” she said.

“Floor meeting?”

“To elect our student senate representative,” Marlot said.

“Are we going to that, all of a sudden?” I asked.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” she said. “But if we’re sitting in the lounge when the meeting starts, we might get roped into it. And the people who are going won’t be available until after it’s over. So, to answer your question: yes, you do have time to get it on with Iason before we play.”

“Every woman on this floor is a mindreader,” I said, shaking my head.

“Every woman everywhere is,” she said. “Didn’t you notice before? And make sure Iason’s got his purse with him. Maybe by the end of the night, he’ll be buying me earrings.”

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