…or, Gathering Nerve
Friday, Astera 18th 222 (morning)
I had made it through the remainder of my weapons class with no other non-spectral injuries, and instantly won the “So, How Was Your Day?” conversation at dinner that night.
The next morning, I was quiet at breakfast. Missy guessed that I was thinking about Iason, and she was right, though she was wrong about the reason. I was figuring out what I was going to say to him.
If I wanted to pitch some drama, I could play letter of the law and yell at him because the rose had turned out to be a night light, thus technically “doing something.”
Though, in all honesty—which was more honesty than he gave me—we both knew what I’d meant when I’d asked if the rose would do anything. So far, it had shown itself to be nothing more than the trinket it appeared to be.
Even granting that he had told the truth, that didn’t answer the question of what I would do with him. I’d told him we were through if he lied about the rose. I hadn’t told him what would happen if he told the truth, because I hadn’t made up my mind.
I couldn’t really feature this changing before I saw him again, given that there was only one class in the morning before we had field herbalism.
“Right,” Professor Bryony said after eventually getting the class’s attention at the start of basic herbalism. “I have your digestive tinctures here,” she said, waving a hand holding a sheaf of papers over the labeled jars on her desk. “When I call your name, please come and get your jar, review sheet, and muffin. You’ve all received grades of C or higher for your work, though I’ll be stricter in the future. What you really want to look at isn’t the letter grade but the written notes I’m handing back. They’ll tell you how to get an A on the next one.”
When she called my name, I went up and got my jar and the handwritten paper she’d made up for me. I had gotten a B-plus. The note said “You plainly have natural affinity, but you want to work on your technique. Spend a little longer focusing your energy. You should feel no resistance when you insert the herb. Go slower, next time.”
I was reading the paper on my way back to my desk, so I was walking slowly enough to hear her tell Callaway, Honey that she had the only A-plus in the class. I liked Professor Bryony, but I had the image in my head of her giving Honey extra gift packets on the first day.
The professor suggested we leave the jars on a sunny windowsill for a week or two before decanting them, but said that the contents would be usable right away if we needed them. I had a feeling most of the class would just throw their jars away as soon as they were out of the classroom.
Once she was sure everybody had finished their muffins, we moved onto the next subject, which was infusions in hot water. She made an exception to the “herbs out-food away” rule and actually passed around a tin of little cookies—which she called “biscuits”—as we were using tea leaves to practice the technique.
“You may laugh, but tea is serious business,” she said. “The same magic you used on the dandelion works just fine on tea. Come finals week, your brewing services are going to be in high demand if you know what you’re doing.”
Because brewing tea was faster than making an alcohol infusion, we went through multiple cups of both enhanced flavor and enhanced potency, and we were able to get feedback as we went. I was able to get a better handle on what Bryony was talking about. I wondered why we hadn’t done water infusion first, but of course it was harder to get a handle on the herbs’ properties when I wasn’t touching them directly. The alcohol exercise had been more hands-on.
By the end of the class period I was a little bit tired of gathering my energy. I also had noticeably less of it to gather. This made me glad I’d taken my lab in the hour-long block.
“A-minus for the day,” the professor told me after watching me draw out one last cup. “You’re getting better, but you’re still a little shaky around the edges. If you want an A on Monday, practice drawing energy on the weekend.”
Iason was already leaning against the field shack when we approached. He was grinning smugly at me. The professor pretended to remember something she’d left back in Wexler. I could have told her not to bother. I wasn’t about to have a heartfelt talk with Iason about anything.
In fact, I made up my mind not to say anything to him until he’d said hello.
He didn’t. He just stood there, leaning against the wall and grinning at me.
“What?” I said, when I couldn’t take it any more.
“You are pretty.”
I hated myself for the hot flush this brought to my cheeks.
“Alright, lads?” Professor Bryony said with a wink when she returned a few minutes later.
I wondered what conversation she imagined had happened in her absence. Probably it was something like what Missy had come up with. She got points for being progressive, if not for being accurate.
“Alright, Professor,” Iason said, returning her wink.
The rest of the class wandered up to the shack over the next few minutes, and we set out as soon as everybody was there, even though it was technically early. We went to the same clearing as before, and Professor Bryony handed out sheets of paper with two lists on them.
“You can pair up for this or work alone, as you like, but if you do pair up make sure you’re working,” she said. “You’ve each got a list of fifteen plants. The first ten are in the clearing. You will have seen some of them during your cataloguing on Wednesday, if you were paying attention. The other five you’ll have to go into the woods for, but not out of sight of the clearing. Some of the herbs are the same on every list, some are different, so don’t just watch where your classmates are going. I want a sample of as many of the herbs on your list as you can find by the end of the class.”
Fifteen herb samples in just under an hour. It was no wonder Bryony wanted a longer class period to work with. I was lucky; three of the herbs in the first section had been present in my patch last class. I stooped down to get a sample of a purple flowered allheal plant and ended up running my hands into Kira’s.
“Excuse me,” she said.
“Sorry,” I said. “I think there’s enough plant here for both of us.”
“I don’t want this one any more,” she said, and she straightened up and strode away across the clearing.
“What am I, a lycanthrope?” I asked her retreating form.
“Are you?” Iason asked. His voice was in my ear. I could feel his breath on the side of my face, though when I turned around he was standing ten feet away.
“No,” I said.
“The rose,” he said, swaggering closer. “It did not do anything, did it?”
“No,” I said. “So far, it’s just a harmless knicknack.”
“Knicknack?” he repeated, looking confused.
“A useless ornament,” I said.
“Useless,” he echoed, frowning. “You do not like it?”
“It’s fine, really,” I said. “But, it just hangs there, glowing and smelling nice.”
“You think it smells nice, then,” he said, smiling half of a smile.
“Well, it is a rose,” I said. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, doing a balancing act between hurting his feelings and encouraging him too much. “They aren’t known for smelling bad.”
“So, you see now that I’m trustworthy,” he said.
“I see that you’d rather tell the truth than risk pissing me off for good,” I said.
“We should not be fighting, Iamie. It is Friday,” he said. “The first week of classes ends this afternoon, and the glory of the weekend stretches out naked and hungry before us. We should celebrate.”
“What, exactly, do you have in mind?”
“A night on the town,” he said. “My gift to you.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “You’ve given me enough gifts for now.”
“But I owe you dinner,” he said. “You wouldn’t want to make me to renege on my word, would you?”
“Iason, you said you’re not looking for a boyfriend,” I reminded him.
“And I am not,” he said.
“Are you looking for a husband?” I asked.
“Certainly not.”
“Long-term emotional attachment of any kind?”
“No.”
“Are you lying to me again?”
“Clearly, I am.”
I closed my eyes and prayed for strength.
“So, what exactly are you looking for?” I asked. I held up my hand to stop him before he could answer. “And, again, I don’t care how much you lie about anything else, but I want an honest answer to this question. If you can’t do that, just walk away.”
Before either one of us could say anything else, Professor Bryony strolled between us.
“Time and place, lads,” she said. “You might have the whole weekend together, but I only have you for the space of an hour.”
“I’m not actually going to spend the whole weekend with him,” I said.
“None of my business if you do,” Bryony said, throwing up her hands and walking away.
I turned back to Iason, but he was already halfway across the field, bent down and examining a plant. If he was actually doing his classwork, I could do no less.
His voice caught me as I bent back down to gather my healall.
“You,” it said.
I looked up in confusion. Me what? He didn’t say anything else, though. I gathered the herbs that I knew were there, then started to make my way over to Iason, keeping an eye on the ground. I was trying not to be obvious about it, and he was moving around, too, so I had seven of the ten clearing entries by the time I was able to squat down near him.
“Me, what?” I asked him quietly.
“You what, what?”
“You whispered ‘you’ to me, after Bryony broke us up,” I said. “What did you mean?”
“I was answering your question,” he said.
“What question?”
“The one to which you demanded an honest answer.”
“What?”
“You asked me what, exactly, I’m looking for,” he said. “The answer is you, Iamie. I’m looking for exactly you.”
“What do you mean, me?” I asked. “You just met me. You don’t even know me.”
“I know that you are the prettiest human boy I’ve ever seen,” he said.
“There are better looking men at this school,” I said. “Even in my own dorm.”
“But not prettier ones.”
“I can’t be ‘pretty’ compared to the guys in your own hall,” I said.
“I don’t want an elf,” he said. “I want somebody who knows what it is to live and die, who will grow old.”
“Yeah, I’ll grow old about ten times faster than you,” I said. “Maybe what you want is an elf with human blood, not a human with elven blood.”
“No, I’d rather have somebody I can outlive,” he said. “I’d rather have you.”
“Do you think you’re in love with me?” I asked.
“I love fucking you,” he said. “I would love to fuck you again. That’s real love. That’s the only true love.”
“I don’t know if I agree with that or not,” I said. “But you’re moving way too fast for me. It was fine when it was just sex—”
“So, let it be just sex,” he said. “I don’t mind. If it turns into something else later, I will be happy, but if it doesn’t, I will be content.”
“It won’t,” I said. “Man sex is one thing, man love is another. I’m not in the market for a boyfriend.”
“Fine,” he said. “It will just be sex, then. After I take you to dinner tonight.”
“Iason!”
“I promised,” he said. “I can’t go back on my promise. I wasn’t lying when I made it.”
“You could say that you were.”
“That would be dishonest,” he said. “Is six too early, or do you need time to get ready? Wait, hand me your list, quickly.”
I did, right as Professor Bryony popped up alongside us.
“Finding everything, Mr. Bowman, Mr. Iason?” she asked.
“We are making excellent progress, Professor,” Iason said.
“Right, well, I want to see at least half the herbs on the list by the end of the class,” she said.
“That should not be a problem,” he said.
“Mr. Bowman?”
“Yeah, uh, I’m way ahead of that,” I said.
“Excellent! I look forward to seeing your samples,” she said, and then she disappeared.
“Eight of your herbs are on my list,” Iason said, comparing our sheets. “Have you really found all of these?”
“Yes,” I said.
“I’ve only found three,” he said. “May I see your pouch?”
I handed it to him.
“You know, if you take two that are on your list, we’ll both have five, and then we can start looking for the woods ones,” I said.
“Or I can take the five of those that you have found that are also on my list, since you know where to get more,” he said.
“Hey!” I protested as he helped himself to my samples.
“Your way, we would each get the minimum passing grade for the day,” he said, stowing the herbs in his own pouch. “My way, we come out much better. What is there to complain about?”
“The fact that I did all the work,” I said.
“And you did it so well,” he said. “You found more than twice as many herbs as I did in the same amount of time. We all must play to our strengths, Iamie. Now, go collect samples for yourself so we have time to find the forest herbs.”
We were on a schedule, and I did know more or less where I’d found all of the herbs, so it was faster to gather them up again than it would have been to throw a fit and get the originals back. I would have shown Iason where they were if he had asked, so it was kind of the same—ah, fuck it. No matter what flimsy justification I threw up, I was letting him talk me into stupid things.
It was the ninth grade girl/senior boy dynamic again. I was aware that it was happening. I didn’t like it. It was happening anyway. I already knew I’d let him take me to dinner, and then probably do whatever he wanted afterwards. Looking ahead, I could see a long chain of bad decisions stretching away into the future.
The only fact I could offer in my defense was that he was hot.
“The only fact I could offer in my defense was that he was hot.”
Great line! And honest!
Maybe I’m imagining it, but Iason seems almost for real here.
OOK!
I’m sorry Jamie but if you go for Missy over Iason I will be severely disappointed. And, about the whole ‘not-looking-for-anything-long-term’ I’m pretty sure he’s lying about that.
MOOK!
An excellent chapter. One bit of confusion on my part though:
“You can pair up for this or work alone, as you like, but if you do pair up make sure you’re working,” she said. “You’ve each got a list of twenty plants. The first ten are in the clearing. You will have seen some of them during your cataloguing on Wednesday, if you were paying attention. The other five you’ll have to go into the woods for, but not out of sight of the clearing.”
She says there’s a list of 20, then only mentions finding 15.
@Allan: Whoops, that’s a mistake on my part. Fixed now.
Excellent as always! Iason never stops entertaining! I am really looking forward this dinner! What will Jamie wear!?!
shedule?
Otherwise good times.
Arrrgh! Bricks! Fire! IASON MUST DIE!!!!1one
And yeah, shedule.
I find it fascinating to compare and contrast Mack and Jamie. kind of like foils but not. that Iason is a slippery one! lol
Ugh. That kind of weakness always disgusts me. When you realize you’re being self-destructive is the time to be something else. And “he’s hot” is a terrible justification. Jaime, I wish I didn’t like you so much, because you tick me off.
Heh. Iason amuses me by how much he’s like me. I’m a perfectly trustworthy pathological liar. When I give my word, you can trust me unless I’m lying.
Though I always make it clear shortly afterwards that I was lying.
“No, I’d rather have somebody I can outlive,” he said.
Am I the only one who found this Extremely creepy?
I had made it through the remainder of my weapons class with no other non-spectral injuries, and instantly won the “So, How Was Your Day?” conversation at dinner that night.
Lol
Mook! Arf!
@Les
No. It makes me think Isaon is looking for a long term relationship that will ‘end’ without him having to do anything more than outlive his partner.
I really loved the following interchange:
It’s almost enough to make me actually like Iason. Almost…
Also, though this may be purely the fact that I just finished watching season 2 of Torchwood, Iason reminds me a little of a younger version of Captain John Hart (Jack’s psycho ex from “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” etc.).
I think part of the problem with about the whole ‘not-looking-for-anything-long-term’ is a matter of perception. Iason’s idea of not long term could be the rest of Jamie’s life. After all he did say he was looking for ‘somebody I can outlive’
As for the “roses that don’t smell nice” piece… I have encountered a bouquet of Roses that smelled like a dead fish….
that had been left on the kitchen counter all week…
yeah that was fairly unpleasant.
anywhoos thanks for the MoarMU update Lexy!
Somehow, that was sweet. And OOOOK–I’m pretty sure I made the top 20.
Poor Jamie. This is a relationship trainwreck in the process… and worse, he knows it.
I’ve never been able to understand letting oneself be pushed around like that — “hotness” does not buy a “get out of jail free” card with me. OTOH, I also spent several years training large mammals, where letting them push you around meant you were likely to be either stomped or squished, so maybe that’s the difference.
NOOOOO Leave the hotness, hard i know, but its for your own good. Actually both Iason and Missy would get the Axe in my book.
Kira seems like more fun ^_^
I like this section.
Iason can be a little creepy, but he doesn’t really strike me as all bad. And I can kind of understand where Jamie stands. The feeling of being drawn to someone for a reason that we often justify as their appearance, that we just can’t seem to control a relationship with is a familiar one.
AEH
So… uhhh… is it Mook over here or arf? I’ve never posted for MOARMU… so lets just go with Marf!
“I love fucking you,” he said. “I would love to fuck you again. That’s real love. That’s the only true love.”
Mega rofl at that. I won’t go as so far as to say that I believe it, but I know people that do. Regardless, it shall join my list of MU quotes on my facebook. Erm… on that note, AE, is it cool if I post MU quotes on my Facebook?
Great work AE, keep it up.
Kira could be a little nicer. I understand the usual dynamic between the elvish races, but Jamie is making an effort to at least be civil here…
Are werewolves the enemies of dark elves, or was there some other reason Jamie asked whether he was a lycanthrope?
And Iason is suddenly very creepy. Stalker? That’s ok. Liar? That’s forgivable. But he wants someone he can outlive? Someone who knows what it means to live and die? That would be like having a fetish for people with terminal illnesses or something! Not cool. Plus, if he were Jamie’s only life-long partner but knew he’d get some better booty later, that would permanently skew the relationship’s dynamic.
Uhmm…. Iason is a “leech”!! No good in relationships like that and it seems that Jamie already knows that and it does not bode well what the fact he does implies ….
Tomo has decided he likes Kira and missy, but dislikes iason. marlot seems lke a much nicer puddy, so Tomo likes her, too. Also,
“the only thing i could offer in my defense was that he was hot”. Ah, Jamie…..don’t we all fall for something like that? the answer is no. Iason is a creepy stalker, and despite being hot. you should dump his elf-y ass.
…sorry for the double post, but WHOA I GOT #23!
You know, if Jamie told Professor Bryony about the situation (I mean the whole “won’t take no for an answer” issue not the sharing his herbs) she could probably give him so pretty good advice.
Either way the fair professor is turning into one of my favourite characters, I just wish I knew if Honey really was that good or not.
Iason on the other hand is an idiot who needs to be dumped, hard.
I don’t know if anyone here (or AE) has read a webcomic called Errant Story, but Iason’s desire for a mortal lover reminds me of something an Elven character from the comic said. Basically, in the Elven language of that world, the closest thing to the human word for “love” is “aeternam desideratum” or something like that, which would be bastardized Latin for “eternal desire,” and which the character described as the feeling an Elf has when his or her lover dies while they still have passion for each other–basically, the resulting neverending yearning is supposed to be a GOOD feeling. Which was often the reason why Elves took human lovers.
And I guess that could be what Iason is going for. Some weird romantic notion according to which he’ll get to spend centuries in painfully sweet longing for a deceased Jamie.
@LennonMarx: Yes, it’s very cool. Just make sure you credit where it’s from, and if possible, throw a link to the story in.
@28: I’m not going to read through all the comments ever posted again just to find what I’m remembering, but I seem to recall something along those lines when Ariadne was around… how elves live forever, so the best relationships are those that end before you’ve lost interest in and affection for your partner. Ariadne took her former husband’s last name because of that, I think.
I might be mixing canon with comments, though… does anyone remember?
If that’s the case, then Iason’s desire to outlive someone doesn’t seem so creepy.
Typo: “But I owe you dinner,” he said. “You wouldn’t want to make me to renege on my word, would you?”
Too many to’s.
@9, Rosencrantz:
…Spoken like someone who has truly never been in such a situation, and could not hope to understand. At least Jamie knows what’s coming, while Mack is never as wise as that.
@25, Tomo:
I wouldn’t consider Marlot a Puddy at all: she’s hardly controlling, refrains from walking around jeering at people, and she hasn’t forced herself on anyone, while Puddy does all three. She’s got a quirky sense of humor and is very sarcastic, but neither of those are traits I would consider Puddy to have.
In other news, does anyone else get the impression that Iason isn’t the only one lying to Jamie about not looking for a long-term relationship? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Jamie would blow him off outright for being such an asshole if he really didn’t have some greater attraction to him. Sometimes people find each other “hot” because they’re attracted to something more than their physical looks (which is why ugly people are able to procreate!
) In this case, it’s just hard to tell because Iason apparently meets many peoples’ standards of hot.
I dunno, Iason’s kind of growing on me. He’s a smarmy dude who doesn’t know how to apologize, but he comes by that honestly. He can be smarmy because he is, as Jamie noted, really hot and a skrimisher to boot. And at least part of the reason he doesn’t know how to apologize is that he really does seem to be well-intentioned in everything he does, like a puppy who doesn’t understand why you are not thrilled that he destroyed the evil Expensive Dress Shoe Monster to save you. I don’t know if he’ll actually learn much from Jamie, but I think that as long as Jamie’s willing to set boundaries it’s the next best thing. Although I admit I’m saying this in part because I’ve gone so sour on Missy– not because she’s a hypocrite, because everyone is now and then, but because she’s a goddamn catgirl. And not the nekoyokai kind.
Regarding Jamie’s smoking, maybe I’m just a bigger addict, but I must say that my favorite smoke of the day is in the morning, and I’ve yet to notice Jamie have one in the morning.
@tar: Having established that he’s a smoker, I’m trying to strike a balance between having it be part of his life and not hitting readers over the head with it. He skips over mentioning things that are routine more often than Mackenzie does.
@ Silromen
Just because someone is disgusted by that behavior doesn’t mean they haven’t been in the same sort of situation. I had similar feelings about my ex- dated him for two years, while he made my life miserable- and I hated myself almost the entire time. This sort of behavior disgusts me as well, likely even worse than it did before because I ended up doing something I hated because of it.
“In my defense, he was hot” – it’s flimsy, but, eh, I’ve been there. Even though you know it’s not a good reason, it still makes it a lot harder to stop it. 3 years…Gah. Oh well, she was hot
And Iason is growing on me, asa character. I think he’s still evil and unlikable, but I like reading about him, so, that’s good.
Also, ARF!
And the professor isn’t all that fair, I think. It might just be James noticing things and thinking the professor might be prejudiced pro halflings, or it might be that she’s really favouring them…We won’t know for a long time, probably. Still, I like her well enough. Onwards!
Maybe I am just projecting here, but I think that Jamie represents exactly what Iason wants at this point in his life. Jamie’s “pretty,” he’s mortal and he likes butt sex. While we know from Steff that a partner who is less than a full elf would not be an acceptable life partner in the most proper circles, it is understood that one may indulge in a brief fling with the lower orders, and the lifetime of a human or even of an elf-blood counts as a brief fling. In the parlance of Susan Smith’s New Orleans, Iason sees Jamie as a presentable “chawhammer.” someone with whom to have a relatively brief and intense dalliance, but someone who is beneath a full commitment.
Iason is being brutally honest when he says he doesn’t want a boyfriend, a husband or a long-term commitment. He wants to be the penetrator, not the penetrated; the hunter, not the prey. In his functional definitions, he wants Jamie to be his girlfriend, perhaps his wife, and Jamie’s lifetime is not a long-term prospect for him. Paradoxically, his lie is the admission of lying, which he sees as part of his bad-boy charm. He is an expert angler, and he has cast his bait in front of Jamie. He knows better than to reel his fish in before the hook is set, but he has felt the nibbles.
Jamie should slow down—
He should feel no resistance
When he inserts … uh …
Old joke: “Teacher’s Pet—
But only when asked nicely!”
A taste for Honey?
Steeped in tradition
Jamie’s now in hot water—
Is tea-bagging next?
Prof Bryony’s speech translates with Britishisms. Does this mean she is originally from the Empire instead of the Imperium?
I always like the characters other people seem to hate. No one seems to like Steff but I love her to pieces. And so many people can’t stand Iason or at least dislike him, while I think he’s endlessly entertaining. LOL!
Oh, and doing stupid things because you’re hopelessly, completely, helplessly, pathetically attracted to someone….nooooooooo, I’ve neeeeever done that. *eye roll* LOL. Seriously, who hasn’t? Sure the excuse is weak, well, we’re human, or at least most of us are mostly human…or close enough.
We do have a bit of a time machine and know our young couple will be together for a month or two, and be reasonably happy. They could stay together for a hundred years, with Jamie thinking all the way how happily lucky he was.
But Jaime is well aware of the power gap, and how easily it could all turn sour. Iason may not be able to find something better by standing on the streetcorner, but they both know he can do a lot better than Jaime. That can lead to a lifetime of quivering in fear that he will leave me if I do the least wrong.
It’s not a good situation, but it can work out.
OOK!
@39, Luddite, the gnomes from Logfallen have some British-isms too. I do believe that it’s just the Gnome dialect.
@Rozencrantz, Silromen, and Calia: I totally empathize with the disgust. I was stuck in a situation like that in high school, and for a long time it was a major source of self-loathing.
And Major, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Iason really just wants a passionate “fling”.
I think he’s a great character, and don’t think he’s really malicious. But I’d never want him in my life, and I hope Jamie outgrows the hotness thing pretty soon.
Ok, I’ve finally come down on the “dislike” side of Iason. Cheating is just not ok, especially since Professor Bryony is probably aware of it and will likely demerit Jamie for it, too.
Jamie needs a blacklist!
@42: nonsense.
Plenty of possibilities. They could break up and have ahuge row, and the dance in MU is the first time they go out together again. It could be that James is, at that point, broken and hates Iason with a passion but can’t get away. Maybe there’s magic involved, who knows. We know they’re still seen together, but not much more than that.
Y’know, I pretty much just agree with Tomo here.
Uhg. The author loves main characters who are pushovers apparently. I don’t really like elf guy, but can’t help but see his charm.