…or, Going Round In Circles
The teaching assistant, Dobbs, showed far less imagination and perception in pairing off the students who’d been assigned to the east side.
He seemed to be going by similar weapons, putting swords against swords and knives against knives. Nobody else had a throwing axe like mine, so I was set against an axe-wielding, blond-bearded dwarf dressed in leather with so many rivets and buckles that it was as much metal as hide.
“Alright, you two,” Dobbs said. “Let’s see what you can do.”
“Uh, hi,” I said to the dwarf, hefting my weapon.
“I am Badulf, son of Badwulf,” he said, giving a little flourish with his battle axe. It was a double-bladed job, with a handle that was almost as tall as he was. Dwarves could get away with long, unwieldy-seeming weapons, because of their low center of balance. “Of the Clan Oakenkeg.”
“Jamie,” I said, returning the gesture. “Son of Kevin.”
We squared off warily. Neither of us made the first move. We stood there, studying each other. I imagined he must have been thinking the same things that I was.
I had longer arms, but his weapon had a longer haft. If he swung it one-handed—and I was willing to bet that he could—he could beat me in reach. I probably had the advantage in reflexes and natural coordination, but he was likely far more skilled. There was a reason Callahan had given all the dwarves a pass to the advanced section. I would be faster on my feet, but his forearms were thicker than my neck.
He had no reason to take the offensive. While a charging dwarf was supposed to be a fearsome sight, a dwarf on defense could be a fortress in himself. He could stand there and make me come to him, and take my legs off at the knees as soon as I came into reach.
Throwing the axe wasn’t an option. He’d probably be able to deflect it, and even if he didn’t, a dwarf’s skull was not the same as a human’s. Nothing but the most dead-on of direct hits would have a chance of ending the fight.
“What the hell are you two doing?” Dobbs asked. “Fight!”
“We are,” Badulf told him, without taking his eyes off of me.
“Well, do it faster!” Dobbs said.
I faked a throw and then charged at him, the axe raised up by my left shoulder. I was watching him for his move, and when he lifted his axe, I veered to the side and slashed at him as I passed on his left. He twisted with surprising nimbleness, moving just enough to avoid my blade. I had a feeling this was more a matter of economy of movement than of me pushing him to the limit. I pivoted around on the slick grass as I skidded to a stop, facing him again.
I stood regarding him for a moment, then charged at him, my axe held in the same position again. I faked the start of the same swing, but then darted around on his right. This time, I nicked his arm.
On the next pass, Badulf was ready for my direction change and I didn’t get close enough to even swing. On my fourth go-round, I threw the axe and dived wide to the side. I had to roll to avoid an overhead swing as the dwarf briefly took the offensive, but he resumed his original stance when my weapon winged its way back to my hand.
“Quit messing around!” the teaching assistant barked. “Get in there and mix it up!”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off, that I was fighting to win, not for his approval. He’d asked to see what I could do, and I was showing him.
Still, if his style was anything like Callahan’s, I did not want to piss him off.
I barreled in straight on, once again watching Badulf. As soon as I was within range of his blade, I leapt. His axe caught me in the leg, the blade passing cleanly through my shin. It would have been a severing blow. It was so quick that the pain was actually slow in coming, though it flared intensely for a second when it did.
My axe buried itself in his chest. I bounced off of him and fell to the ground. He stumbled backwards, but kept his feet.
“You need a better defense than dodging away,” Dobbs said to me, raising his clipboard. “What’s your name?”
“Bowman,” I said. “James.”
He marked something down.
“Go practice with them till Coach finishes sorting,” he said, pointing to another group of students. “You need to work on feinting and deflecting.”
“I know how to feint,” I said.
“You know to feint,” he said. “Move it!”
Badulf pulled my spectral axe out of himself with a grunt and handed it to me.
“That was a good, solid hit,” he said.
“Thanks,” I said.
Dobbs had stuck me in a group of girls armed with knives and short swords. They seemed like an agile bunch, but they stopped fighting when I approached.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey,” one of them—a short, perky girl with really intense blue eyes and a short saber—said.
“So, what are we doing?” I asked.
“Just fucking around a bit,” she said. “Dobbs is a tool.”
“I noticed,” I said.
“Wanna spar?”
“Sure.”
The rest of the group resumed their fighting when we started. None of them seemed to be aiming “to kill”, but stopping their blows if they got through each other’s defenses.
Following Dobbs’s instructions, I focused on feinting and turning aside her blows. I was pretty good at parrying; that simply hadn’t been as good an option when faced with a dwarven battle axe as it was when my opponent was a slender human girl with a light blade.
We both did pretty well. My technique was rusty. Outside of school, all my practice had been private, mostly focusing on throwing at targets and swinging at the air. It was coming back to me, though.
“That’s a really pretty axe,” the girl said as we went through the motions of attacking and parrying each other.
“Thanks,” I said. I’d never thought of it in those terms, but it was clear I’d have to learn to take that sort of compliment graciously.
“Where’d you get it?”
“Well, my great, great, et cetera grandfather was a woodcutter,” I said. “And he lost his axe in—”
“Oh, is it a faerie axe?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said. Again, that wouldn’t have been my chosen descriptor. It was my ancestral weapon, not a pretty faerie axe. “We think it’s one of the originals.”
“That’s neat,” she said. “Mine’s my grandpa’s infantry sword, from the Chaos Wars. Doesn’t do much, but it’s magical.”
“Hey, guys,” Steff said, joining our group. He was wearing a loose, faded t-shirt and jeans with patched knees, and a belt with a pair of daggers on them. The skin around his left eye was discolored and swelling up.
“Hey, sweetie,” the girl I’d been sparring with said. “What happened?”
“I think Callahan has a crush on me,” Steff said.
“You’re way psycho, Steff,” the girl said. “Why were you late?”
“Thought we were meeting on the south field,” Steff said.
“Hey, Steff,” I said.
“Oh, hi. You’re Margot’s friend, right?” he said.
“Marlot,” I said.
“Margot’s friend Marlot?” he asked, teasingly.
Though he was undeniably a man, there was something almost girlish about his smile. His long hair was definitely girlier than Iason’s, and it looked like his body was a bit softer, but he was broader across the shoulders and closer to my height.
“Marlot’s friend Jamie,” I said. “I was hoping I’d run into you again.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I wanted to ask you if you know an elf named Iason,” I said. “Iason Manblood?”
“Oh, yeah, I totally know him,” Steff said.
“Okay, because I—”
“Yeah, I know every elf, everywhere,” Steff said. “We all know each other, don’t you know? And we can tell what trees are by looking at them, and we come into human villages and steal little boys to ass-rape.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I said. “I’m part elf, too, you know.”
“Sure, you’re one sixty-fourth pureblood elven princess,” he said. “You and every other blond in the world.”
“Hey, ditch the attitude,” I said. “I just met this guy, and I figured that being in Treehome, you might know him.”
“Well, for your information, I’m not in Treehome,” Steff said. “I’m in Harlowe. I don’t know any of the elves that go here, and I don’t like the ones I do know.”
“Okay, okay,” I said, holding up my hands. “Sorry I asked.”
“Hey, do you two treefucking sissies want to quit flirting and pay attention?” Callahan shouted, and I realized we’d missed the end of the sorting. Dobbs was heading over to the beginner group, and most of the rest of the eastern group was already watching Callahan.
“I’m offended by that,” Steff said. “He’s not a treefucker.”
“I never said I was an elf, I said I had elven blood,” I told him.
“Alright,” Callahan said. “The first one of you fags who decks the other one doesn’t get a failing grade for the day.”
I didn’t have time to finish sorting out the meaning of the words before Steff’s fist hit the side of my face. I couldn’t say if he put everything he had into it, but it didn’t feel like he was holding back.
“Right,” Callahan said, moving right along. “Now that I have everybody‘s attention, we’re going to get started. You’re here on this side of the field because you already know something about fighting. They say that experience is the best teacher. I’m going to give you the best learning experience you can get, short of going out and getting yourselves killed. I’m going to put you in fights with each other, throw you into situations that will test the limits of what I know you can do. The goal is that by the end of the year, you’ll be ready to jump into combat with any opponent. We’re not going to waste a whole lot of time on ‘technique’ or ‘form’. If I see you holding your sword by the wrong end, I’ll tell you.”
She started moving around the field, breaking groups up and setting them to tasks. One of the first people she grabbed was Steff. She ordered him to stand still and let three of the skirmishers practice their death blows. Maybe he was just putting on a front to piss her off, but he sure didn’t seem put out by this order.
“I saw a little bit of your hit and run shit on the dwarf,” she said when she got to me. “That’s not going to work against anybody who has a little bit of skill. You need to work on standing your ground enough to get in the good hits, even against a more powerful fighter.” She took some loops of leather cord off her belt, which unfolded into a hoop a yard across. She dropped it on the ground. “Stand here. For the rest of the period, you keep one foot in this hoop at all times.”
I stepped inside the hoop. Callahan whistled at a big guy from the skirmish team, who turned out to be a big girl when she got closer. She had a giant two-handed sword.
“I want you to try to hit Blingy-boy here,” she said. “Blingy, you work on dodging or parrying her blows for now. Let me see your axe.”
She held out her hands and I gave it to her. I half expected a backhand and a lecture about handing over my weapon, but then, I more-than-half expected retribution if I didn’t. She tossed it up in the air and caught it.
“Give me a downward chop,” she said to the short-haired female fighter, who obliged her with an overhead blow. She held my little axe with two hands like it was a staff and blocked the blow, then shoved it aside. “Diagonal swing,” she said, adjusting to a more normal grip, and this one she redirected. “Straight jab,” she said, and twisted aside. “Work on those,” she said to me, handing my axe back to me. “Your natural inclination is going to be to jump out of the way, so you need to focus on keeping one foot planted in the hoop,” she said. To my sparring partner, she said, “If he doesn’t, break his leg.”
The hulking fighter nodded.
I kept my foot inside the hoop, even when my opponent scored a hit, which was often.
I figured out early on that I could only block her blows outright if the attack was coming straight on and I used both hands. Otherwise, the force was enough to rip my axe out of my hands. It came back, fortunately. Callahan hadn’t made any provisions for weapon retrieval. Of course, she’d seen my axe come back the first time.
Callahan stopped by and halted our exercise several times, making us “replay” what we’d just done after giving one or the other of us a tip. I was slow in catching on to the fact that my opponent wasn’t just being used as a prop in my lesson. Her repertoire of attacks consisted only of really broad, powerful strokes. As I was getting better at defending against her attacks, she was getting better at landing them.
The jarring pain in my arms every time our weapons clashed faded quickly, as they were only spectral injuries, but by the end of the class period I was winded and sore from the effort of moving. I actually had to be faster to dodge by degrees than I did to throw myself out of the path of the sword.
“Good work, Blingy,” Callahan said to me at the end of class.
“Do I get a passing grade?” I asked.
“Did you hit Johnson first when I told you to?” she asked, and moved on without waiting for an answer.
OOK!
Love the sparing classes. Callahan is awsome.
“I am Badulf, son of Badwulf…”
Bad Wolf?
Very clever, I like!
Moook! Top 5!
I don’t think Steff was referring to Jamie’s validity as an elf. XD
” The rest of the group resumed their fighting when we stared.”
It’s nice to get a serious perspective on this class. And a different view of Steff too- She’s really quick to turn bitchy.
I’m seeing a much more abrasive side of Steff here…not sure I like it much. The girls were right, Dobbs is a tool.
Also, I give up on the sonnets…too much effort.
Axe me no questions
And I won’t tell any lies—
But might dodge the truth
Steff can be a bitch—
But then hasn’t she always
Aspired to be one?
Jamie gets a “Pass”
For “Tries Hard” but a “Fail” for
“Follows Instructions”
Badwulf?
Beowulf?
yeah I’m crazy but anywho Moar is starting to really grow on me.
“I had a feeling this was more a matter economy of movement than of me pushing him to the limit.”
Shouldn’t there be an “of” between matter and economy?
Also,
“I pivoted around on the slick grass as I skidded to a stop, facing him again.
I stood regarding him again, then charged at him, my axe held in the same position again.”
I think this is more of a personal preference thing, but three sentences ending in “again” just don’t exactly sound right to me.
Finally.
“She ordered him to stand still and let three of the skirmishers practice their death blows. Maybe he was putting on a front to piss her off, but he didn’t seem put out by this.”
I don’t quite understand the wording here. Is it a typo saying that Callahan isn’t put off by Steff’s front? Or is it correctly saying that Steff is trying to piss Callahan off, and he isn’t put off by her making him a target?
Mook!
Hahaha… This is another contestant for “best ending line ever”. I’m not sure it actually matches the naked elf line, but it comes pretty close. I really do like Callahan, she’s a hoot. I would either get along famously with her, or I’d be getting my ass kicked repeatedly from trying to go head-to-head because she pissed me off
@Andy: I don’t think Steff minds being ‘killed’ like that, which is why she doesn’t appear phased instead of the usual reaction of “Death blows?! I’m really not going to enjoy this. ;_;”. Remember her thoughts about being killed by Viktor?
I think Andy’s point is the “she.” The rest of the chapter, Jamie refers to Steff by her biological gender, rather than her preferred role. Thus, it should be “he.”
Just a guess.
MOOK!
@Allan: The “she” and “her” in that quote is Callahan.
@Andy: It’s the “Maybe there was some other explanation, but it looked like there was something weird or unexpected.” construction.
“Maybe it was paint, but those bars looked gold.”… “Maybe he was putting on a front, but he didn’t seem put out.”
I’ll add a couple words to make it more clear.
MOOK!
“She (Callahan) ordered him (Steff) to stand still and let three of the skirmishers practice their death blows. Maybe he (Steff) was putting on a front to piss her (Callahan) off, but he (Steff) didn’t seem put out by this.”
Jamie notes that Steff doesn’t look like she’s upset at the prospect of being a punching bag for three skirmishers with no defenses. Jamie doesn’t know how much Steff likes S&M, and thinks it might be a case of Steff putting on a brave face for Callahan. I’m sure with Steff’s behavior it’ll be clear for Jamie in a few more classes.
…Putting on a brave face to spite Callahan. Steff would indeed want to impress Callahan, but not for reasons Jamie’s aware of, yet.
Thanks to all, especially AE.
Good update, Kinda funny that Steff didn’t even hesitate to punch Jamie in the face. Callahan seems the type that if she asks you to kill someone, you don’t ask “is this hypothetical, or do you really want a corpse on the ground” you just do it.
I’m surprised that Callahan continues (or I guess starts) to let Dobbs be such a terrible teacher.
AE,
Thanks. Misread it the first time through. Bit tired the last couple days. Made more sense on the re-read.
And thank you as always for gracing us with your talent.
Is it weird that so far I like MToMU way more than the actual story? I never noticed how much I disliked some of the characters until I saw the same situation from another point of view. Oh wells. Anyways I actually really like Callahan so far though I’m almost positive I couldn’t survive her class. Steff needs to take a chill pill though I can understand why she flipped out. It’s annoying to have prejudiced and/or ignorant comments made against you all the time and that can make one go on the defensive rather quickly. Oh wells keep up the good work! I love this story =)
Steff says in this chapter that she doesn’t know any of the elven students from Treehome. But she is going to encounter another half elf soon; because back in chapter 45, when Mach first meet the members of the Mechan Circle, she says that one of them was a male half-elf. I wonder if that male Half Elf might turn out to be Iason? Perhaps he’s decided on a whim to see what the Mechans are like?
I am REALLY liking Callahan from this point of view.
Ok, Still have my first impression of callahan from the first series. She is not about any bulls@#t. All business All the time. Now I am curious if jamie anf Mackenzie are destined to meet later in both series. It seems likely since then you can get two perspectives in a scene. A male and female focus for each series also allows for broader scope as well…. I want a real map of the school though. The detailing in each series are giving the world a real image to work with….
This is so much better than Mack’s biased, nerdy, view of the fighting classes. she needs to freekin figure herself out and get her head out of her Ass about that stuff. Jamie rocks in this too, I love that he can fight and knows how to hand his Axe, (with its big thick shaft).
I figured Callahan was a good teacher when she actually taught. She reminds me of my martial arts instructor a bit, in the black belt classes where nobody’s stupid enough to let themselves get seriously hurt.
Steff seems pretty much the same here as in MU. She’s far from perfect and quick to flare up there, too :-p
Also, I do wonder why Callahan has and keeps such an inept second. She seems intelligent enough, so you’d expect her to either have a “similar” second in command, or one of a clear other style of teaching -i.e. really give them the basics, “hold your sword with your left hand 90°angled against your right hand” or whatever stuff. Instead she lets him yack off about completely irrelevant things and doesn’t seem to understand a fight when he sees it. Oh well. Arf!
Wow, Callahan has some nasty issues.
I think the reason Steff’s being so sharp with Jamie is the tree question back at the welcome fair.
She doesn’t know he was trying to teach Marlot a lesson she thinks he was just being an idiot.
@ Amelia 26:
I think it’s possible, but I think the fact that Jamie is an elfblood also has something to do with it. He knows what to look for, and I assume Steff does as well. Therefore, I think Steff is lashing out against what she sees as just another elf.
Hmm. The big skirmisher girl. Have we gotten a description of her? I’m just thinking, could it be Belinda?
And though I liked the character of Callahan from the start, I’m starting to thing she’s probably going to be one of the best teachers Mack is going to have, though Mack will probably take some time to realise it. (What Mackenzine needs training in isn’t combat as much as standing up for herself and not be a halfhuman punchingbag, and how to read people a bit better. Though she needs combat training too.)
Re Bad Wolf (3) – AE, if that was a Dr Who ref, are you getting the series in ‘real time’ – the new episodes that we’re getting in the UK? (Last week’s ended with Bad Wolf plastered on everything, this week’s was … (no that would be a spoiler). Or were you thinking of the original Bad Wolf episode, when Rose was the Doctor’s companion?
Iain sees the beginnings of Drama in this entry.
Iain does not like it, though how else is a story supposed to progress Iain supposes.
Iain hopes Jamie goes “Hello Steff. I was a jerk. I appologise.” because he seems to be smart and centred of all the people in Mo’MU.
@Ms. Alexandra, in response to #29 Dave:
I had the same question. I think this series is going to be chock full of meta-literary references that is obvious only to a few people at a time… and I love that!
Beyond that, insert copious praise here, and I’ll be back tomorrow.
-”Oh, Rocky”
@11, Callie, i totally agree with you, i would feel exactly the same. but then id probably be face down in the dirt for giving lip when she beat me lol
but i think im addicted to MTOMU now, and the best bit is that the comments havent hit 5000 when i arrive and read them! sometimes i dislike being ion the UK
Note that Callahan does not say the other will get a failing grade for the day. She also does not imply Jamie will get a failing grade for the day in the closing comment; she merely notes that he has no guarantee that he will not.
As for Callahan’s “acceptance” of Dobbs, perhaps he’s the head coach’s pet and she has been stuck with him.
okay, that chapter was win, i love callahan!
I really don’t see all the hate for Steff in this one. Jamie was saying things that at first glance can be interpreted as pretty damn ignorant.
Funny how Callahan always manages to rub me the wrong way while Goldman does it. I think it’s because Goldman is amusing, while Callahan’s just mean.
I also like how people “reason” that she wouldn’t really give Jamie a failing grade for the day just because she didn’t say to him directly “You fail.” Although it is a bit hypocritical of her to yammer on about the “all-consuming power of violence” and then leverage the power of academia to punish someone (a power, incidentally, which cannot even appear like it’s supported by violence without serious mental contortion)
I also wouldn’t be surprised if she kept Dobbs around *because* of his incompetence, letting angry students take their anger at her out on him because he’s such an easy target.
Also I need to learn to use fewer quotation marks. But that’s another story. >_<
Bad Wolf!!! I love it!!!
I don’t think Callahan is failing anyone yet, except maybe Mackenzie when she arrives. Think of it like gym class. If you truly try and show some improvement, you are likely to get a passing grade. So far, Mackenzie appears to be the only one that is half-assing the class. To paraphrase one of Callahan’s lines; it’s not a matter of her being willing to teach you, but of you being willing to learn.
Ye gods, it’s so weird to see Steff referred to as “he”! It just feels so wrong. I’m impressed by how wrong it feels, especially as this text doesn’t really make any reference to her real gender. Nicely done, AE!
Also, I really like Callahan’s philosophy of why she’s teaching the class. I don’t in all ways agree, but I like that she has it. I wish Mack had been in the class early enough to hear about it…
“I know how to feint,” I said.
“You know to feint,”
I don’t get this, is this supposed to be a pun? I don’t get what the difference between “know how to do” and “know to do” is, that’s probably the problem.
Thanks,
Ruben
PS.: If it’s not too much work, the http://www.talesofmu.com should probably work on more.talesofmu.com as well, re-registering sucks.
@43: Callahan is saying that Jamie knows that he is supposed to feint, but he doesn’t do it right.
@31: I think we’d know if Belinda was in the Mixed Melee class– for one, Mackenzie would certainly have noticed. Also, Jamie is pretty good at spotting races; he noticed that Callahan might have some non-human blood, so I’m pretty sure he’d say “big half-ogre girl” rather than just “big girl.”
——
Hee, Badwulf. (Bad wolf!) I don’t care if AE isn’t a Doctor Who fan. If she isn’t, so much the better– it makes stumbling across the words all that much more random and cool. (Scattered across even parallel worlds, maybe?)
Also, as others have said, it’s cool to see some combat described by someone who isn’t a stuck-up nerd. Not that I’m faulting Mackenzie, or rather AE’s writing of Mackenzie– if we were getting Tales of MU from, say, Rocky or Belinda’s point of view, we’d probably get as harsh a treatment of the Thaumatology and History classes.
@ Scornflakes
I think what they meant is he knows how to feint as he clearly showed with the fight against the dwarf. On the other hand he didn’t seem to do anything BUT dodge.
So I think the to feint is more the technique itself and to know how to dodge you need to know to to best use it and when to not use it as well.
(but that’s just my guess)
While I generally agree with Mack’s sentiments about sports in general and the pointlessness of a sports team in a college(isn’t college supposed to be about learning and shouldn’t all the knuckle-dragging jocks be selling used cars instead of wasting space at school?!) I would be the total opposite if ‘sport’ was replaced with “sword, dagger, mace… et al”. For while I be a geeky-geek I can also stab you four times before you can blink(being a twiggy little squirt is just fine for rapier/fencing).
Also I so loved that AE knows that the better part of a real fight between people with even an ounce of training is standing and staring at each other. Dobbs is indeed a tool. “Start fighting!” “we are” “then do it faster!”- whata choom!
Jeez, Steff, does Amaranth need to start spanking you for being presumptuous and snippy? I mean, okay, I understand Steff has taken a lot of shit for being a half-elf (and for being a “faggot,” although that classification is far too limiting for her), but it’s pretty evident Jamie isn’t trying to be insensitive. Apart from being elvish himself, if most of the elvish students live in Treehome, it makes sense to ask about Iason. I suppose it’s to impress Callahan, but since it sounds so much like Mack’s little fits, I’m not sure if it would have the desired effect. Aaaanyhoo, it’s nice to see the fighting class from another perspective. I suspected it would be fun for someone who actually wanted to learn, and sure enough it is, despite/because of Callahan.
Also, woo Badulf! I find myself really liking the dwarves. They’re so free of bullshit and full of awesome.
Jamie’s story is opening up a whole new perspective on the MUniverse that is refreshing and fascinating. Woo hoo!
For some reason, when I think of Callahan, I think of Gary Oldman’s weapons-demonstration character in The Fifth Element…
Thanks again AE!
wd
“For while I be a geeky-geek I can also stab you four times before you can blink(being a twiggy little squirt is just fine for rapier/fencing).”
Rapier/fencing is all very nice when nobody wears much armor. And once gunpowder started blasting thru armor, not many people did. But we see a lot of armor in this world and assuming the monsters don’t need a lot of killing sounds like a losing proposition for our story world.
The fencers used to assume their speed and accuracy would overcome the slow man in armor. However this turns out to work for about one fight. Thereafter the sword and board man figures out counter-tactics and the best the fencer can do is just run away.