…or, Marlot’s Secret Shame
“Jamie?” Missy asked from the other side of the door. My heart thudded in my chest, but I calmed down quickly. At least it was her and not Marlot, or somebody else who’d heard the noise and decided to investigate. “You back yet?”
“Who is that?” Iason asked quietly.
“Missy,” I replied. “The girl I mentioned.”
“Jamie?” she repeated. “Is that you, or is the TV on?”
“It’s me,” I said. “I’m… changing.”
I grabbed up my jeans and shirt, then realized that if I’d said I was changing, I should probably put on something else. I headed to the dresser.
“Okay, well, I don’t think Marlot’s keen on going over to the union,” Missy said. “She says she’d rather order pizza to celebrate making it through the first day of classes, if you’re interested.”
The sound of the dresser drawer opening sounded weird to me, until I realized that Iason had opened the door at the same time I was pulling the dresser open.
I turned to see him standing just inside the doorway, still naked.
“That sounds lovely,” he said.
“Whoa,” Missy said, looking down at his crotch. Her eyes were big and round. So was her mouth. I’d seen guys with the exact same expression before. They were usually down on their knees. After a moment, she snapped out of it just a bit, and said, “Elves really are nature’s magical porn stars.”
“Missy!” I said.
“What?” she asked.
“Don’t say shit like that,” I said. I’d have objected on principle, even if Iason hadn’t been right there.
“But it’s true,” Iason said. “We pretty much are.”
“Oh my kosh, that accent,” Missy said. Her eyes were still locked in the same place. “Is that inked?”
“Will you get in here and close that door?” I said. The pretense of changing abandoned, I pulled on my same boxers and jeans. “I don’t really want to advertise everything that happens in my room to the entire hallway.”
“Sorry,” she said, coming in and shutting the door. I noticed that in the time since lunch, she’d pulled her chestnut hair up off her shoulders with a pair of tortoise shell combs. She’d redone her makeup, as well, with a touch more eyeshadow. “Anyway, Jamie, I guess since you’re ‘practicing’ now,” she said, doing the air quotes as she said it, “you’re pretty much going to have to tell Marlot.”
“No way,” I said. “If I tell her, everybody else will know.”
“If you don’t tell her, she’ll hear about it from everybody else,” Missy said. “I mean, you might not have a choice about ‘advertising’. That door’s not exactly a wall of silence, and in case you didn’t know, those plywood cabinets are the only thing between you and the next room,” she said, pointing to the cubbies built into the wall across from the bed.
“It’s actually particle board,” I said. “And yes, I did know that. I didn’t necessarily remember it while having sex on the desk right next to it, but I did know it.”
“It’s alright, Iamie,” Iason said. “It sounds as though nobody is in there now.”
“What did you call him?” Missy asked, looking up at his face for the first time since she’d arrived.
“Iamie,” Iason said. “That is his name, isn’t it?”
“Say that again!” Missy said.
“Iamie.”
“Yes, his accent is very affecting,” I said. I turned towards Iason. “Will you put your pants on?”
“Oh, let’s not do anything overly hasty,” Missy said. His dick was already half-hard again. “Is that a dragon?”
“Are you still going out with me?” I asked her. That got her eyes off of him.
“Are we going out?” she asked.
“You asked me to the dance,” I said.
“Oh, you are taking him dancing,” Iason said. “Very nice.”
“I’m taking her,” I said.
“I thought you said she asked you.”
“She asked me to take her to the dance,” I said. “That’s how it works. Sometimes.”
“Oh, relax,” Missy said. “We’re going together. It doesn’t matter who’s taking who.”
“He worries about silly things,” Iason said.
“I know, it’s adorable,” Missy said. “But, seriously, Jamie, we already talked about this, so unless this little romp is your way of saying you figured out you don’t like girls after all, I don’t know why anything has to change.” She tossed her head to the side and smiled. “Except that I just found out that the ethernet hasn’t been lying to me all this time about what cute elven boys do with each other in their rooms.”
“This may be some kind of porn fantasy for you,” I said to Missy, “and a game to you,” I said to Iason, “but people still get beat up or even killed over this kind of thing. I have reasons for wanting to be cautious.”
“It’s the twenties,” Iason said. “Isn’t everything different now, even for humans?”
“Things are different,” I said. “But not all over, and not everybody’s happy about it.”
“Even if you stayed closeted, you could get killed any time you go into the woods,” Missy said. “Or somebody could climb up on the roof and go on a crossbow rampage.”
“The bracelet would help him there,” Iason said.
“Oh, you got him jewelry,” Missy said, noticing the bracelet on my wrist. “That’s so sweet.”
“It’s to help him find me,” I said. “Also, it doesn’t come off.”
“A bracelet of booty summoning?” Missy said. “Less sweet, but still kind of hot. You don’t have a trunk full of those in your closet or something, do you?”
“No, just the one,” he said. “It is the only one of its kind.”
“Okay, that’s a little bit sweeter again, then,” Missy said.
“Exactly how much did this thing cost?” I asked.
“I couldn’t say,” he said. “It is actually something of an heirloom.”
“And you just gave it to me?”
“You are very pretty. I thought I needed a pretty gift, and it was the first thing that came to mind.” He grinned. His smile was guileless, but still a little smarmy. “Planning is not my forte.”
“Oh, call him pretty again,” Missy said. “But, try to accentuate your accent. Roll your R’s a bit more and call him Iamie, and Jamie, if you could look up at him when he says it?”
“How am I supposed to do that?” I asked. “I’m taller than he is.”
“We are actually very close to the same height,” Iason said.
“Okay, but if you got down on your knees, you’d be shorter,” Missy said.
“I hope you don’t expect me to put out for you after this,” I said to Missy, mock-warningly.
“Oh, are you not sleeping with her?” Iason said. “Then it won’t matter if you and I go again.”
“Hey, I just want for reality to match up to five years’ worth of unrealistic expectations,” Missy said. “Is that so wrong?”
It was no good, trying to have a serious conversation with two people who both thought the situation was hilarious for some reason.
“Look, Missy, I need to talk to Iason,” I said. “Can you just go tell Marlot that we’re in for pizza? I mean, I am. She knows what I like.”
“Am I not invited, then?” Iason asked.
“Seriously, Jamie, the only way Marlot’s not going to find out about this is if it’s a one-time thing,” Missy said. “I don’t just mean with, um, this guy.”
“Oh, where are my manners?” Iason said.
“Did you leave them in your pants?” I suggested.
“I am Iason, called Iason the Hound, Iason Deer-Stalker, Iason Boar-Feller, Iason the Long Rider, Iason Manblood,” Iason said. “It’s the last one that gets me into trouble. The knowledge of my own mortality makes me impetuous. Knowing that I must one day wither and die drives me to live my life for today.”
“That’s fascinating,” Missy said. “Is there a story for the ‘long rider’ one?”
“Khersis,” I swore. “You could live to be a thousand, easily.”
“While my mother and most of my kin outlive me into eternity,” Iason said. “You see my plight.”
“You must be so tormented,” Missy said.
“It is a curse.”
“Missy, will you please go tell Marlot to order the pizza?” I said. “You can tell her I’m bringing a friend. But no more than that.”
“Okay,” Missy said. She headed to the door, but paused with her hand on the knob. “Hey, what do you like on your pizza, Iason?”
He gave a fluid shrug.
“I have never eaten it before,” he said. “I will accept whatever is placed before me.”
“Oh, he’s a keeper, Jamie,” Missy said as she opened the door.
“I’m really not looking for a relationship,” I said.
“You should have thought of that before you put his bracelet on,” she said, on her way out. Then the door was closed, and I was alone again with Iason.
“Well,” I said.
“Well,” he said.
“I guess you won your bet.”
“Oh, there was never any bet,” he said. “That was an invention to explain my zealousness.”
“So, you lied to me,” I said. I understood that he had probably meant it to be flattering. If I wasn’t exactly flattered, I didn’t feel demeaned. I knew where he was coming from, culturally. I hoped he didn’t try that shit on human women, though.
“Only about that part,” he said. “The part about me desiring to fuck you in the ass was completely true. I will still buy you dinner some time, though.”
“You can pay for my portion of the pizza.”
“Nice dinner,” Iason said. “No one will ever say I do not treat my conquests right.”
“When I say ‘I’m not looking for a relationship’, you understand what that means?”
“If I came by tomorrow and ask to fuck you again, what would you say?”
“Are you planning on doing that?” I asked.
“I rarely plan anything,” he said. “But if I did, would you turn me away?”
“Probably not,” I said.
“See? That is all I care about,” he said. “What would a relationship add to that?”
“You bring me jewelry and say you’re taking me out to dinner,” I said.
“Yes,” he said.
“But you don’t want to be my, uh, my boyfriend,” I said.
“Why complicate things?” he said. “I’ll give you things if I feel like it. It’s better this way. There are no obligations.”
“How did you find me, anyway?”
“I knew your name was Bowman, so I looked in the student directory,” he said. “I didn’t catch your first name, but I didn’t think you were Harriet or Melissa.”
“You can just look up anybody’s room assignment in the directory?” I asked, a little surprised. “Doesn’t that make it really easy for stalkers?”
“I told you, Iamie, I am not a stalker,” he said. “I have tried my best to be sensitive to your concerns. You said you were late for lunch, so I came back later, when you would be done with classes.”
“Yeah, I’m not talking about you,” I said. I held up my left hand, turning the bracelet towards him. “Though, this was questionable, at the very least. What were you thinking, exactly?”
“I thought it would look good on you and it would be fun, being able to hunt you at any time. Fun for both of us, I mean. It does look good on you, and honestly, it would probably have sat in my chest for a hundred years before I found another use for it.”
“You said it’s an heirloom,” I said. “I couldn’t keep it, even if I wanted something like it.”
“You can will it back to me, if you want.”
“Like a focused act of concentration?” I asked.
“Like a bequest,” he said. “Don’t make so much of this, Iamie. I told you, there are no strings attached. Just because I can use the bracelet to find you doesn’t mean you are obligated to do anything.”
“You’re planning on fucking other people, right?” I asked.
I wouldn’t say no to more sex with Iason, especially if I had more warning, but it seemed like it would be less complicated if he had other partners. I didn’t want him relying on me exclusively. Whether he wanted to call it a relationship or not, that was a bit too close for comfort.
“I don’t plan on anything,” he said. “But I keep an eye out for opportunities.”
“Alright, then,” I said. “Just so we understand each other. Let’s go find the others.”
They’d either be in their room or the lounge, and since the lounge was the shortest route from my side to theirs, I led Iason—still shirtless, but at least wearing pants now—there first.
The lounge was a decent size. It had three sections: a kitchen, a dining area, and a TV area. The dining area was set off from the kitchen by an island counter, and from the TV area by the back of a couch. It had three round tables that reminded me of kindergarten every time I saw them.
Marlot and Missy were seated at one of the tables. Another one had a group of three girls, eating cup noodles and fruit trays from the store downstairs. I was pretty sure one of them was from a different floor, or at least hadn’t been at our floor meeting. A couple of guys were watching gladiator bouts on the television.
Marlot was playing a solitaire game. She’d rolled out the nice padded office chair she’d brought for her desk to use in place of the hard wooden ones.
“Oh, here they come,” Missy said, spotting us. Marlot pushed back from the table and swung her chair around to face us. “Hey, guys!”
“Hey,” I said, going over to them. “Marlot, this is Iason. He’s—”
“You dick,” Marlot said, bringing the point of her staff down on the toe of my shoe. The girls with the noodles looked over curiously. Their eyes found Iason’s tattooed chest and stayed there. The guys on the couch glanced our way, but went back to their show. “You total fucking jerkwad.”
“Ow! What’s that for?”
“You told her and not me,” she said, pointing at Missy.
“Missy!” I said.
“I didn’t say anything!” she said.
“She didn’t,” Marlot said. “But I’m not stupid. She’s been grinning like she’s got a big secret ever since we got back from classes, but when she told me she was going to sleep with you I figured that was all it was. Then she comes back from your room with an even bigger grin, talking about how you’re bringing a buddy, and now here you come with one of your happy tree friends. Did you know he’d be coming here when we picked this school? Did you arrange this?”
“We just met,” I said.
“So, you’re going to keep on denying it, even with the truth written all over your face,” she said.
“No,” I said. “But, really, we did just meet.”
“It’s true,” Iason said.
“You could have told me,” Marlot said. She sounded more hurt than angry. “I’ve been your best friend forever. It’s not like I didn’t have some idea. It’s not like I didn’t give you opportunities.”
“I wasn’t planning on telling anybody,” I said. “I didn’t think it was anybody’s business, and honestly, I didn’t expect it to come up.”
Missy snerked. I glared at her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You said ‘come up’.”
I sat down in the chair next to her and leaned in close. I didn’t really want the rest of this conversation to be for public consumption.
“Look, Mar, if I’d been planning on ‘coming out’ at all, I would’ve told you first,” I said. “Honestly.”
Her expression softened a bit, but she didn’t say anything.
“I’m still not, you know, wanting to shout it from the rooftops,” I said.
“It’s not anything to be ashamed of,” she said. “That or your elven heritage.”
“I thought there was something about you,” Iason said.
“I’m not ashamed,” I said. “I want to be careful.”
“So, are you gay or bi?”
The girls at the other table were still watching us, and weren’t at all careful to hide the fact that they were straining to hear. I took a moment to consider. From what they’d already heard and probably guessed, I wouldn’t really gain anything by putting the question off. Missy had a point, as well. If I kept having Iason—or any guy—up in my room, word would get out. I couldn’t deny what I was and embrace it at the same time. I couldn’t have it both ways, no pun intended.
“Bi, I guess,” I said.
“You guess?” Marlot asked.
“I hope,” Missy said. We all looked at her. “Well, I do. Is that wrong?”
Iason slid into the seat next to me.
“I don’t wish to be the source of trouble between friends,” he said.
“Oh, you aren’t,” Marlot said. “Jamie’s just weird about things, and it makes me frustrated.”
“I still prefer the term ‘cautious’,” I said.
“So, Iason, do you live in Treehome Hall, or Harlowe?” Missy asked. It was an obvious subject change, but I think we all chose to let it go. I couldn’t speak for the others, but I didn’t want to fight.
“Mostly in Treehome,” he said. “There’s at least one half-elf who chooses to live in Harlowe, but most of us with predominant elven heritage prefer our own quarters. I’m also entitled to sleep in the team barracks, but as I’m not attached to a squad and they frown on my bringing in lovers, I do not exercise that privilege very often.”
“Oh, you’re on the skirmish team?” Missy said.
“I am an infiltration and elimination agent,” he said.
“Ooh, an assassin,” Marlot said. She looked at me. “Did he do it from behind?”
“That is one of the more natural positions to do it from, yes,” Iason said. “I actually spend most matches hunting the other side’s assassins. It saves effort in bodyguarding our casters and field officers.”
“That sounds so exciting,” Missy said.
“You should come see me fight, Iamie,” he said.
“Would I actually see you?” I asked.
“Not if I’m doing my job well,” he said. “But, it’s the thought that counts.”
“I think it’d be fun anyway,” Missy said. “Get out and support the school.”
“We might as well watch it on the university channel, though,” Marlot said. “I had a hard enough time following the action on a high school level field. How big is the one here? Two hundred yards on a side?”
“Three hundred,” Iason answered without hesitation. “It’s the largest field in the province. The smaller schools sometimes have to combine their forces to field an army.”
“So the far side of the hex is almost five hundred and twenty yards away,” Marlot said. “The only way you’d be able to really see the action is if it’s happening deep in your own side’s territory, which probably isn’t a good thing.”
“They have illusion projections,” I said. “If you watch it on TV, you’re only going to see one part of the field at a time. You can’t get the overview of the whole match without actually going.”
“Well, I’ve got better ways to spend my Saturdays than squinting at a bunch of people across a battlefield,” Marlot said. “No offense, Iason.”
“None taken,” he said. “I don’t know how exciting I would find it to watch from the stands. I’d much rather be in the thick of things.”
“You know, I hate to break this up, but, uh, I haven’t had a cigarette since a bit after lunch,” I said.
“Go ahead,” Marlot said. “It’ll give me a chance to interrogate your new friend and check his credentials.”
“Oh, I’ve already seen those,” Missy said. “They check way the fuck out.”
“Am I going to end up having to wait downstairs for the pizza, or are they delivering it up here?” I asked.
“I told him the third floor lounge,” Marlot said. “I think they deliver up.”
“What’d you get?”
“Island pizza for me, and one with every animal they could find and kill for you,” Marlot said. “Same as always, except large instead of mediums. Missy said island’s fine for her.”
“Pineapple on pizza,” I said, shaking my head. “You know that’s an abomination before the gods, right?”
“We all have our shameful little secrets,” Marlot said.
