…or, Looking A Gift Horse In Various Places
Iolana went into the pool with a splash. She went under and came back up with one strap of her dress completely off her shoulder. The lighter parts of it were completely see-through and her nipples were standing out like the tips of crossbow bolts. I felt like I was smuggling a military grade ballista in my jeans.
She did a surface dive and swam a few yards underwater, leaving the sodden garment behind and coming up, laughing and bare. The four guys who’d thrown her in took off their shirts. Two of them jumped right in after her, keeping their khakis on. Another one, a tall and tan blond guy with the hairless chest of a gladiator or swimmer, took off his jeans. His cock head was just visible poking out of his boxers before he dove in. The last of them slowly stripped off his pants and then a pair of tight briefs, completely exposing a big, throbbing cock. He turned around and climbed into the water slowly, giving me a good view of his well-muscled ass flexing.
Most of my experience checking out guys was with elves. Apparently a human guy could do it for me, too.
Iolana was swimming away from them, and the blond guy was following after her. There was no doubt he was a swimmer. He ended up leaving his boxers behind him. The bigger guy was bouncing around in shallower water, backing up until he was only up to his mid-thighs.
An arm draped over me from behind . I felt soft fur against my neck. Another hand grabbed my crotch, and a giant prick poked into my back.
“You’ve maybe got a shot at Blondie’s ass, especially if you blow him first,” the satyr who’d grabbed me said, massaging my groin. “There’s about a fifty-fifty chance the big dude will let you suck him off after he’s had a few beers, but there’s about a fifty-fifty chance he’ll kick your ass afterwards. If you let me fuck you, I’ll tell you exactly what to say to Blondie to get him to bend over.”
“Why don’t you cut out the middleman and just fuck him?” I asked
“I like pussy,” he said. He’d unsnapped my jeans without me noticing and had his hand in my boxers.
“That’s not pussy in your hand,” I said.
“Yeahh, well, you’re the horniest thing at this party,” he said. “It’s distracting. Like a beacon. If I don’t do something about you, I’ll keep seeing you out of the corner of my eye all night. Also, you look about as easy as a first year thaumo lecture. The only one harder up than you is that elf chick, and I don’t match her entry requirements.”
“Yeah, well, I’m afraid I’m, uh, not accepting applications,” I said. “See, I’ve got a boyfriend. We’re still sorting some things out, and eventually I think he’s going to have to let me have other partners if he wants to keep me, but if I just forced the issue now by having—”
“Fucking fuck,” the satyr said. He squeezed my cock hard enough to hurt. “You are a pussy. When a guy wants to put his dick in you, it’s not an invitation to share your life story. I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m looking for a hole to fill. Yes or no?”
“No,” I said.
“Damn!” he said. He let me go and stepped back. I got my pants buttoned back up with a little difficulty. “I thought for sure you were a sure thing. Things get complicated for a male fertility being. A field nymph can walk right up to a guy and pull his pants off without any consequences. I’ve got to be damn sure before I do that to a girl. A guy, sure, but I can’t tell by looking if a guy identifies as queer, just if he craves cock or not. You seem pretty open about it.”
“Is it that hard for you to get laid?” I asked.
“In general?” he asked. “No. I can get laid without trying walking across campus because I’m there, I’m available. If a girl walking across the pent has an itch that needs scratching or wants to feel all wild and daring, I’m there. But at a party like this, well, first of all, no matter how many people take off their clothes, there’s always less sex than you’d think. Girls who are feeling open to a little fun have a lot more options. Basically, in any situation where there are other guys not wearing pants, I’m screwed.”
“Why’d you come here, then?”
“I like being sociable in between the fucking,” he said. “Also, Marlot invited me.”
“Marlot?” I repeated. I knew she’d gone for a quickie with Jae back on the first day at MU. She’d said it was a one time thing.
“Yeah, Marlot Kincaid. The girl who fucks our host. She’s pretty cool. You know, the first time I fucked her, she didn’t make any noise, didn’t say a word.”
“First time?” I repeated, but he wasn’t listening.
“Yeah, about halfway through, she stops panting and I think, okay, what the fuck is wrong? And so I stop, and I ask her if everything’s okay. And she goes, ‘It’s fine. Just let me know when you get it in.’ I laughed so hard, I about snapped my stick in two.”
“Sounds hilarious,” I said.
“Yeah. Hey, listen, I don’t want to be ‘all gay guys know each other’ or anything, but if you know a Jamie Bowman, can you point him out to me?”
“Why do you want Jamie Bowman?” I asked.
“I don’t want him in particular. I want a hole to fill,” he said. “But apparently he’s got a controlling dickhole of a boyfriend, and Marlot thinks if I can drag him off into the cornfield and fuck him stupid—or fuck him stupider, as she put it—it’ll break them up.”
“Oh, is that what she thinks?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“Were you paying any attention to what I said before?”
“Were you paying any attention to what I said before?” he asked. “I don’t care about your little emo problems, kid, I just want to get laid. The only reason I didn’t blow you off when you blew me off was so I could ask you about Bowman, and now I have. So, later.”
With that, he climbed over the railing of the deck and jumped into the pool. Iolana must have climbed out at some point, but there were more girls swimming around. Most of them actually had brought swimsuits. I didn’t see a single guy who’d brought swimwear.
“That was so hot,” a girl said behind me. Another girl with wavy black hair grabbed my arm, and two others grabbed my other arm. “Come get in the hot tub,” the one who’d spoken said.
Her head was shaved bald, eyebrows and all. She looked human otherwise, just impossibly smooth. Her left eye had a ring of blue sigils tattooed around it. Staring at it, I didn’t actually make a decision to go along or not and ended up being dragged down to a lower deck. I was naked and in the steaming water between a bunch of girls before I could even think to protest.
I thought better of it.
There were a couple of guys in there who started to cheer when they saw the crowd of girls, but it got muted pretty quickly and they climbed out.
The girl with the sigils put a beer in my hand.
“It’s okay, you can stare,” she said.
“What do they do?” I asked her.
“They look neat and piss off my parents,” she said. “Why, does yours do something else?”
It took me a moment to figure out she was talking about Vera. Having a tattoo was still a new reality for me. I couldn’t see her when she wasn’t active.
“Actually, it does,” I said, and I woke her up. The girl stared at me for a few seconds, but then Vera came up over my shoulder and she let out a gasp. The other girls in the tub gasped and giggled.
“Neat,” the girl said. “So, are you really bisexual?”
“Are you asking if I really like guys, or if I really like girls?” I asked.
“Both.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Neat,” she said again. “In a little while, I’m going to do something else that pisses off my parents.”
“They’re not actually going to be there, are they?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “But my mother will know. She always knows what her children are up to.”
“Subtle artist?”
“Faerie gift,” she said. “Kind of a double-edged sword, but a lot of them are. Like having skin soft and clear as a newborn babe’s.” She laughed. “You get used to it.”
“I’m Jamie Bowman, by the way,” I said.
“I know,” she said. “Lisette.”
“How exactly do you get a faerie gift, Lisette?” I asked.
“I’ve got three of them, actually,” she said. “It’s kind of a family thing. My mother has them, my daughters would have them, if I ever had any. Though I probably won’t, since I feel completely fulfilled in my existence without any children. That’s one of my gifts.”
“That’s kind of an odd gift,” I said.
She shrugged.
“Well, maybe our godmothers are getting a little tired of coming up with new ones,” she said. “None of mine are really all that useful.”
“I don’t know, the no hair one doesn’t sound terrible,” I said. “I mean, you look kind of sexy.”
“Uh huh, especially to elves and pedophiles,” she said. “And that only from the waist down.”
“So what’s your third gift?”
“That one’s kind of embarrassing,” she said. “You have a boyfriend, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “For now.”
“Problems?”
“Possibly,” I said. “Nothing I care to get into.”
“Do you think you might dump him? Or vice versa?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t have any plans on dumping him but right this moment I don’t see us as being together forever.”
“Damn,” Lisette said.
“Hey, listen, my status with him’s got nothing to do with what I do with women,” I said. “So whatever you’ve got in mind—”
“I don’t have it mind any more,” she said.
“Look, you think I’m hot, I think you’re hot. I’m part elf. The hairless look works for me,” I said.
“It’s not—oh, fuck it. It’s my other gift,” she said. “It says no man I lie with—meaning fuck, it doesn’t seem to matter whether we’re horizontal or vertical or what—will ever long for any other woman. I left two high school boyfriends completely impotent except for me and one who’s now basically gay before I figured out to take it seriously.”
“Ouch,” I said. “Um, and you were going to fuck me?”
“Well, I thought you were practically married to that Manblood guy, not about to break up with him,” she said. “It seemed perfect, until I found out otherwise. Hey, do you think it might save your relationship if all of a sudden you found most women completely unattractive?”
“I’m not that interested in saving it,” I said.
“How about a lifelong committed relationship with me?” she asked. “Or even lifelong friends with benefits?”
“I don’t think you’d be so eager to be the only woman I’m attracted to if you had any idea what my sex drive’s like,” I said. “Do you have any idea what it’s like being one eighth elven?”
“Try being a quarter nymph!”
“How exactly do you end up a quarter nymph?” I asked. “I didn’t think they could get knocked up.”
“Not unless they give up their immortality,” she said. “But they’re still nymphs, and their descendants are partly so, too. It sucks. Hey! If you wanted to get with me, we could have sex anywhere, any time, legally.”
“You’re coming off kind of desperate,” I said.
“I am kind of desperate!” she said.
“You’re climbing the wrong tree, Lisette,” Iolana said, climbing into the hot tub on the other side of me. “Jimmy’s pretty darn gay.”
“Jamie,” I said. “And I’m really not.” A glance to the side confirmed this for me. Iolana hadn’t sat down yet. She’d lost her panties somewhere along the way. She had a small dark triangle of pubic hair. Hair didn’t normally do it for me, but the sight of it damp from the pool somehow set it off. “Do you know you’re naked?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what happened to my dress,” she said. “I think someone took it to hang it up to dry?” She shrugged. “I’m used to swimming naked. The idea of getting clothes just for swimming is weird to me. The pool’s too cold, but this feels nice.”
She hadn’t done more than finish sitting down when the blue-and-blonde haired girl appeared sideways in her lap with a splash.
Thursday: Random returns.
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