…or, Firm Answers
“Sorry I’m late,” I said to Missy and Marlot, who’d already gotten their food by the time I reached the food court. “Class was late, and then I got held up a bit talking, uh, to a classmate.”
“Oh, what’s that?” Missy asked when I set the flowerpot down on the table.
“Argenti violets,” I said.
“Ooh, is somebody giving you flowers?” Marlot said. “Better watch your back, Missy. You’ve got competition.”
“They’re from my teacher,” I said.
“I don’t even think that’s legal,” Marlot said.
“She gave them to everybody,” I explained.
“Shameless hussy,” Marlot said.
“Would you like them?” I asked Missy. “I don’t know where I’d put them.”
“Oh, he’s re-gifting you,” Marlot said. “I wouldn’t stand for it. If I were you, I’d demand a dozen white roses, with all the thorns removed and replaced with smaller individual flowers.”
“Sure,” Missy said, taking the pot and pulling it closer to her tray.
“Cool,” I said. I set my bag down on the table. “I’m gonna go grab some food.”
I waited in line at the Burger President counter and got myself a bacon double cheeseburger and large fries.
“So, how was your morning?” I asked the girls when I returned.
“Meh,” Marlot said. “I am not at all impressed with my signs and warnings lab. Not at all. My elementalism lecture looks to be okay.”
“What’s wrong with the lab?” Missy asked.
“Okay, the way I figure it, there are two ways a teacher can approach the first day,” Marlot said. “One is to pass out the syllabus, go over some basics, and say ‘Have a nice day!’ a quarter of the way into the period. The other is to jump right in and start doing stuff. Our instructor? Kept us there for the whole hour but didn’t have anything prepared for us to do. It was just ‘Oh, just familiarize yourselves with the equipment.’ For fifty minutes.”
“That sounds really unprofessional,” Missy said.
“He was a last minute substitution,” Marlot said. “Apparently. So, I don’t really mind that he didn’t have anything prepared, but he could have either whipped together a demonstration or turned us loose. When some brassy dame with a classy walking stick suggested that thirty minutes was plenty of time to get to know a table and some brushes, he told us to study the syllabus. It was a single scribed page, and he’d already read the whole thing aloud.”
“Ouch,” I said.
“My afternoon should be better,” Marlot said. “It’s an imagecrafting lab.”
“Two labs in one day?” Missy asked.
“Wards and illusions,” Marlot said. “It’s not exactly heavy lifting.”
“So, how’s your day going?” Missy asked me.
“Good,” I said. “I had two classes, both with the same professor. This afternoon, I’m taking an etherscaping class and a lore lecture.”
“He takes his undeclared status very seriously,” Marlot said. “He would have taken information resources, but the honors section was all filled up.”
“What did you have in the morning?” Missy asked.
“A basic lab, and a field class,” I told her.
“I mean, what subject?”
“Um, herbalism.”
“Were there a lot of girls in them?” Missy asked.
“You know, the field herbalism class actually has a challenge rating,” I said. “We spent, oh, maybe half the class going over all the warnings before we headed into the woods.”
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Marlot said.
“Oh, don’t start,” I said. “Seriously. Not today.”
“It’s okay, you can like girly things,” Missy said. “It’s kind of cute. Like your pretty hand axe.”
“My axe isn’t ‘pretty’,” I said. “It belonged to my dad’s family for centuries.”
“I thought you were elven on your mom’s side,” Missy said.
“I am. My dad’s fully human.”
“Oh,” Missy said. She blushed, a little. “I thought it was an elven axe, with the silver and the jewels and stuff.”
“Elves aren’t really big on axes,” I said.
“She thought it was elven because it’s so pretty,” Marlot noted helpfully.
“Can we not talk about my family’s ancestral weapon like it’s a fashion accessory?” I asked. “And Missy, I’m glad that you like my culture, or whatever, but really, I’m almost as much human as you are. Not everything about me has to come back to who my great-grandfather is.”
“Hey, Jamie, what kind of leaf is this?” Marlot asked, holding up a piece of her salad.
I gave her a withering look. She remained unwithered.
“It’s romaine lettuce,” I said.
“See?” she said. “He’s going to make a great herbalist. He has a positive gift.”
I sighed.
“I don’t necessarily want to be an herbalist,” I said. “I’m just taking the classes because it’s convenient.”
“What, you’re just going to let your talents go to waste?”
“How was your morning?” I asked Missy.
“Pretty much okay,” she said. “I got my W.P. class out of the way in the morning. You know I thought basic knife was going to be really easy, but it turns out there’s a whole bunch of stuff we have to go over before we’re even allowed to have our blades out.”
“Yeah?” I said. I smiled, a little cockily. “I took something a little more challenging. Mixed melee. I had to take it late tomorrow afternoon, because apparently they combined the beginner and advanced sections into a single class this year. I don’t know how that’s going to play out.”
“How about you?” Missy asked Marlot. “What’s your W.P. class?”
“Oh, I’m not taking one,” Marlot said.
“Really?” Missy said. “Because my adviser told me it’s best to get them out of the way first, so you know what you’re doing and so you don’t get stuck later.”
“I’m not taking one at all,” Marlot clarified. “I have an accommodation. As long as I can get enough support credits, I don’t need a W.P. class.”
“Is it because of your leg?” Missy asked.
“It’s because I’m a less-than-conscientious objector,” Marlot said. “That means I don’t want to fight, but I don’t mind using magic to mess with the other side.”
“You don’t have to get snippy,” Missy said.
“I’m not snippy,” Marlot said. “I just don’t think the whole world has to revolve around my leg. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go write up my notes from my signs lab before I forget everything I learned today.”
She got up and stalked away, practically stabbing the floor with her cane.
“You going to go after her?” Missy asked.
“She wants to be alone,” I said. “She’ll calm down in her own time. Trying to talk her through it only makes it worse.”
“What’s with her leg, seriously?”
“Born wrong,” I said. “That’s all. Her leg’s too short and her knee doesn’t work right. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“You asked her about it,” Missy said.
“I forgot,” I admitted. “I’m used to being alone with her, most of the time. She’s different about it, in front of other people.”
“Oh,” Missy said. “Can I ask you something else, then?”
“Sure.”
“Are you jerking me around?” she asked. I stared at her, not sure what she was asking or how to answer. “I’m sorry,” she said, holding up her hands. “I know we’re not actually ‘involved’, yet, but I think you’re cute and kind of smart, and I don’t want to spend a lot of time and energy on something if it’s doomed from the get-go.”
“What do you mean?” I said. “There’s nothing between me and Marlot, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Yeah, I know,” Missy said. “But, Marlot said she thinks she’s seen you checking out guys.”
“She managed to notice that but somehow missed how often I check out girls?”
“So you do?” Missy said.
“Sometimes,” I said. “Why didn’t she say anything to me?”
“She said she thought for sure you’d say something, once you guys were here,” she said. “She doesn’t know I’m asking you about this. She just wanted to give me fair warning, I guess, that you might be one of those guys who comes out of the closet midway through the first semester.”
“I’m not one of those guys,” I said. “I know what I like, and what I like is, well, varied. But mostly girls.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“I’ve never had a boyfriend, either,” I said. “I didn’t exactly do a lot of dating in high school.”
“What about outside high school?” she asked. “Your summers, with the elves?”
It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Marlot hadn’t been so much off target as beating around the bush with her half-joking questions about “elven anal princesses.”
“That’s different,” I said. “It’s a different culture, with different rules. But, no dating.”
“No dating, but sex,” she said. “You’ve had sex with guys and you know you like it. How do you know you like girls?”
“Do you want to know?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that isn’t involved,” I said. “I’ve been getting off on girls since before I discovered boys, or they discovered me. I had the motive, but not the opportunity. Girls weren’t flocking to me during the school year, the way boys were over break.”
“And you never told Marlot, because?”
“Because to her it would just be another cute, funny thing about me,” I said. “She doesn’t get what it’s like for a guy. If word had gotten out about how I spent my summer vacations, I would have been in fights every day, and I could have kissed whatever dreams I had of finding a prom date goodbye.”
“Must have been a small school,” Missy said. “Not that the queer kids didn’t get shit, but at the very least there would have been other guys you could have gone with, and girls who were into bi guys.”
“How about you?” I asked. “Are you one of those girls?”
“I told you I don’t mind if you like girly things,” she said.
She grinned, and I knew it was a joke, but it bothered me all the same.
“How is a man a girlier thing to like than an actual girl?” I asked.
“Sorry,” she said. “It’s just a lame joke.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It just bugs me. The first time it happened, I didn’t even realize that what I was doing was the same thing that the guys back home were talking about when they started ripping on ‘fags’. I don’t like the idea that it makes me less of a man.”
“It doesn’t!” Missy said. “I mean, I know it doesn’t.” She grinned. “At the same time, I mean, it is kind of cute. The image. I hope that’s okay.”
“I suppose it beats the alternative,” I said.
“Are you sure that you like girls, though?” she asked. “Sexually?”
“I think I’m as sure as I can be, without actually trying,” I said.
“Do you want to find out?”
I snorted.
“Nice pick-up line,” I said. “But, seriously, I’m pretty sure.”
“I’m serious,” she said.
“What, now?” I asked.
“After classes,” she said, shrugging. “Tonight. Whenever.”
“You’re serious.”
“I like you,” she said. “Does it have to be a big thing? I don’t want to end up going with you and waiting until ‘the time is right’ or whatever and finding out the time’s never right because I’m not right.”
Missy was not a bad looking girl. She didn’t have my favorite type of body, physically, but considering that I hadn’t had any kind of sex in over a month, or ever with a girl, my body was responding very well to the idea.
From a shallow standpoint, she did have a rack, and great skin, and a nice smile. I wasn’t sure that noticing a girl’s smile was actually that shallow, though. Didn’t that say something about her personality? Personality-wise, she was definitely nice. A little sheltered in some ways, but not so much in others, it turned out.
She was definitely into me, too. It surprised me how much of a turn-on that was. It wasn’t like I would have jumped the first girl who looked at me. But, after having been the smart, cute, funny, and more than a little bit weird guy all through high school, being able to look across the table at a girl who was looking back at me and thinking oh yeah, I’d do him?
That was pretty hot. It was a real rush, so to speak. An ego stroke.
Not to put too fine a point on it, it made me hard as a rock.
“Okay,” I said, pulling my chair up a bit closer to the table and leaning forward. “Tonight? You can sleep over in my room.”
“Okay,” she said, shakily. For a moment, I thought she was going to call it off, but then she smiled. “Okay. Tonight.”
“Tonight,” I repeated.
No matter what happened in the afternoon, it would be an interesting first day of class, that was for sure.
OOK!
Loving the fluid nature of sexuality from Elvish culture, AE. Keep up the good work!
Mook! Seize him! :p
I definitely understand James’ feelings regarding Missy. Lucky son of a bitch.
Good Man Jamie Bowman!!! I love that the two W.P. classes referenced are the once Mack was in and then moved to.
“Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that isn’t involved,”
Shouldn’t that be:
“Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that IS involved,” ?
@5 no, then it wouldn’t be “alone and touching himself”.
mouse, no, becuase theres no woman there, hes imagining one. hence, its a woman thats NOT involved, becuase hes imagining it.
Also:
No, actually, he didn’t. Either the line where James said Missy asked about the leg was a typo or I’ve missed some delusional tendencies on her part.
“You know thought basic knife” -> “You know I thought basic knife”
“I mean, I now it doesn’t” -> “I mean, I know it doesn’t”
mad scientist. That was two chapters ago. Where he asked in front of Missy if she’d be okay going all the way across campus and back.
Its going to be interesting to hear about sex from a man’s point of view. AE is a good writer and probably far more descriptive then my lovers who respond to my curious questions with sighs and superlatives. But AE is a female so I’m going to need you guys to confirm her observations.
Its also cool how some of the classes overlap with Mack’s.
I am so lovin the moar mu. Couple of possible typos for you:You know thought basic knife
I mean, I now it doesn’t
“It doesn’t!” Missy said. “I mean, I now it doesn’t.” She grinned. “At the same time, I mean, it is kind of cute. The image. I hope that’s okay.”
Pretty sure that “now” should be “know.” In any case, something needs fixed.
Khee, Marlot just pushes and pushes, she likes to dish it out, but she can’t take it. Both annoying AND touchy. How has Jamie put up with this all these years?
@ 5 and 5-
No, I still don’t see how it makes sense. If he’s telling her how he knows he likes girls, then shouldn’t it be that a woman IS involved (in his imagination)?
So, “how do you know you like girls?”
“Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that IS involved,”
So, he knows he likes girls because when he masturbates he fantasises about them.
Versus;
“How do you know you like girls?”
“Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that isn’t involved,”
Which doesn’t at all explain or support that he likes girls at all. I read that as being (paraphrased) “Because when I masturbate, it’s more likely that a woman isn’t involved in my fantasies.”
You know, I get this vibe off Marlot that she’s kinda a cross between Puddy and Amaranth…Puddy in the “annoying and says the wrong thing at the wrong time” sorta way, and Amaranth in the openmindedness and sexuality department. Actually, she’s kinda Puddy-ish in the way she’s open about sex, too. The upside on her is that the traits combine to create a somewhat annoying person, but one who’s probly not gonna end up like Puddy.
As for Missy, she seems like a really nice girl. I expect “tonight” to turn out to be her first time. I just hope she doesn’t end up clingy. I get the feeling that she just might.
Next, I’m kinda glad to see I predicted/interpreted Jamie’s sexual tendencies correctly. I hope it doesn’t cause any problems with him and Missy, though.
Finally, @ Barnowl 14:
I think after a while you get used to it. He probly learned patience from the elves, as well.
“It’s a woman that isn’t involved” – the phrasing is to specify the gender of his nonexistant partner. The “Isn’t Involved” is on a purely physical level, not mental.
And geez, these stories make me feel even more socially retarded than I do otherwise…
@ Mousy 15:
I think it can be interpreted either way as written. If spoken, I think the interpretation would depend on which word he emphasizes. For instance, “Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a WOMAN that isn’t involved” emphasizes woman vs man in the fantasy.
Whereas, “Because if I’m alone and touching myself inappropriately in my bedroom, odds are pretty good it’s a woman that ISN’T involved” goes a little farther towards emphasizing the idea that women aren’t involved in his fantasies.
Of course, the “it’s” in there also changes the idea of the sentence. Saying “odds are pretty good a woman that isn’t involved” obviously means that women aren’t involved. Therefore, changing it to “odds are pretty good it’s a woman that isn’t involved” marks an absence of presence rather than presence of absence, if that makes sense.
@ Andy 18
Ok, I think I understand where the emphasis is being placed in the sentence now, thanks =D. Still, personally I think it could be clearer and is a little clumsily worded. I mean, if he’s already stated he’s alone, by himself, singular, I would assume anything/anyone else he mentioned was in the mind or imagination.
Has anyone gotten a reply from an actual person worded like this? I know AE writes the speech such that it reflects -actual- speech of people, but I’ve never heard or said anything like this myself. Perhaps it is an American mannerism?
@ Mouse 19:
I know I’d word things similarly, but I’m an American, so I dunno if that solves your confusion at all. On the other hand, my mannerisms are a hodgepodge of things I like from different parts of the states, British expressions/mannerisms, and whatever weird way of speaking I feel like using at the moment. So I can’t say I’m exactly typical.
As for it needing to be more clear, I think you’re somewhat correct. It is kinda clumsily worded, but sometimes that’s the effect or speaking style you’re going for. So in the interests of being perfectly clear, yeah, he didn’t do the best job. In the interests of sounding cool, though, he’s good.
MWAHH ha ha ha! “Burger President”
Marlot doesn’t fight
But might get through more battles
By resting a spell
Like her walking schtick
More than her sense of humor’s lame—
And even clowns cry
Jamie and Missy—
The best laid plans don’t always
Make the best planned lays
I think I’m actually liking this storyline better than Mac’s, although Mac’s storyline gets me riled up and wanting to shout at her to stop being so weak. Either way, both are great and I’m hoping to see more of the professors as Jamie’s story progresses.
@Mouse – The “woman who isn’t involved” jumped out at me, but (as a native American/English speaker) I thought it was a clever way of saying it.
—————
I think I said this before, but I really really like this story. I’m addicted to MU, too. AE, it seems adding this new story has made you even more creative.
@11 Gopher
AE’s female? Somewhere along the line, I got the impression she’s a male-to-female TG. And @AE, if I’m not mistaken and that offends you in some way (although, given your choice of subject matter, I don’t think it would) I apologize.
Er, that should read if I *am* mistaken. Although I supposed it’s not the sort of thing we should be discussing in the comments section, I’ve been curious about it for a while. I apologize if bringing it up was inappropriate.
Wow… Jamie doesn’t exactly take things slowly, does he? Same for Missy. This is going to be so interesting… especially to see what sex is like from a guy’s point of view.
@22 Zathras IX
“The best laid plans don’t always
Make the best planned lays”
Man, that is total GENIUS! Where do you keep getting gold like this from? It’s awesome and I LOVE it!
kerinbot,
“Burger President was mentioned in ToMU, along with one of their compettitors – White House.
Kheez, if half as much sex happend at my school as this one… I WANT TO GOTO MU!!!
At this point I must add the obligatory “Bow Chicka Bow Wow!” Jamie MIGHT actually get the sex he wants.
And on a completely different note, I forsee Jamie being in Mack’s Mix-Melle class at some point. Question is, will he bew Gloriass’ unfortinate new sparring partner once he catches up to her beating.
Okay, does this ever *realy* happen? Is there somthing wrong with me or what?
Six years… SIX YEARS of college, two of them at a major liberal university and nothing. This guy shows up and on the first day of classes… bah! Bah, I say, bahumbug!
Psuedo-comedic rant aside, I wonder if AE is getting a guys help in preperation for the sexual encounter…
I don’t know if people still comment on the nerdy things you include that they like, AE, but I loved the mention of Jamie’s field herbalism class having a challenge rating being used as a backup to his machismo.
Wow Jamie works fast. Cant wait to see what happens when Mack isn’t around. I want to see the relation ship between the dwarfs and the elves. Traditionally the two races hate each other but we haven’t seen any indication of that here.
I like Marlot. She seems very real. Yes, she can be obnoxious/annoying/whatever, but I don’t get a Puddy vibe from her. (I was a bit taken aback by her rant about racism a story or two back, but then I get that it’s easier get to riled up on behalf of someone you care about than if it were you were the one “being attacked”.)
@28: He has a pretty axe. Did you have a pretty axe?
“when i touch myself,… a woman that *isn’t* involved” – is, how do i put it, witty.
Mook!
Damn, Jamie is a lucky dude. I wish my first day of college had been like that. (Any of them – on my third degree).
Although it’s actually not that uncommon. We’re in the middle of summer orientation for the pre-frosh at my University and I heard a girl was here THREE HOURS before trying to hook up with one of the RAs.
Must find job as RA next year….;)
@8,10
“You asked her about it,” Missy said.
Yeah, the emphasis threw me here too. Assuming Alexander (@10) is correct, it’s more of a “you asked here, why can’t I?” rather than a “you asked her, not me!” It comes across a little awkward to me since we’re reading this chapter, not the one two chapters ago.
whoo go JAMIE! action on your first week!well, voluntary, and NOT with a nymph i mean…
Wow. MU is certainly a sexual place. But then again, when you’ve got nymphs and satyrs hanging around, its bound to be.
I hope that Missy doesn’t get too possessive. Seems like she might have that tendency.
As far is the “woman that isn’t involved” line goes- it was perfectly clear to me.
To the non-USAicans: yes, I have heard similar constructs before. Jamie is just being witty.
Daaamn. Jamie Bowman is the one that seems to need a cane of his own sort.
@david: It’s fine to bring up, but just as a note, saying: “X is female? I thought they were a transsexual!” is, to put it bluntly, offensive. Being female and being transgendered are not mutually exclusive states.
In this case, it’s clear that you’re talking about biological sex… but to paraphrase Steff, biology is what I have, it’s not what I am.
Hell yeah! this is starting off good!
Nice pickup line…
I do get the feeling that even though she’s into him, it doesn’t really mean that she’s thinking it might be forever. i get the feeling she thought about it and said like: “what the hell”, if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.
On the other hand, when this’ll blow over or he gets going with kira (i imagine this’ll take a very long to get that far), it IS going to be awkward, even though they won’t want it that way. But i imagine that’ll not last that long.
@43:
Hmm, i get the feeling you don’t answer but don’t deny david’s question either.
@11:
So that would mean you’d be female with female lovers since you don’t have a male’s point of view on sex… or am i mistaken?
@11,43: I do hope that the man’s point of view ‘ll be accurately displayed and i would advise you to get some points on that from male persons in your life. Allthough one would argue that anyone is different on this point, and Jamie isn’t really a stereotypical male in that respect either…
So far, i’m ok with the stereotypical male part of Jamie. I get the feeling that he doesn’t necessarily want a lasting relationship, but that he wouldn’t get out if its way either.
It would be interesting to have another male stereotypical side of him to make out with other girls which won’t know from each other, and inevitable it’ll come out. I do imagine he’ll have some hesitations, but depending on the girl it might not be much of a hesitation
Well, I guess every story needs to have its aggrevating and annoying sidekick. I mean, the new Star Wars had Jar-jar, and MMU has Merlot.
What a bitch. And Mack and Jaime both seem to have some of the same, “Don’t stand up for myself enough,” issues, just to different degrees.
@Al13N:
Uh, he was making a statement, not asking me a question. The only reason I responded at all was because he asked about possible offensiveness. My transgender status isn’t a secret. Him saying “Is it okay for me to bring this up?” and me saying, “Yeah, it’s fine.”, that’s not me being coy.
@Andy 16: Whoo, someone else who sees a little bit of Puddy in her! Oh man, now I’m making all kinds of inappopriate jokes, but seriously Marlot does seem to me like Puddy Lite: now with 99% less evil flavor!
Also, whoa-HO, Missy! I think I see a little of Marlot’s influence here, but that might not be a bad thing. I appreciate a straightforward person, and all the more in this story– no offense, but our “main” cast is about as convoluted and obfuscated as it gets. I hope it goes well for them, which is not to say “not awkward,” but to say they’re both reasonably happy and don’t carry away regrets.
I love Marlot, she is funny as hell. I would be her friend, even without her “tricking” me into it.
I just hope this isn’t going to head in the teen-movie “best friend right under your nose the whole time” thing. that would be disappointing. As it is right now, I like their dynamic.
@ Time Warp 35:
Ok, take Puddy but remove the abusiveness and a good amount of the crazy please-love-me that she has. You end up with a character that’s loud, highly obnoxious, and has very little in the way of taste or manners. I’m not saying I dislike Marlot (though that may come about), I’m just saying that she shares this trait with Puddy. The difference, as I see it, is that Marlot is safer to hang around in general.
@ Sterling 45:
I don’t think it’s so much that Jamie doesn’t have that same issue as Mack. Mack grew up as a half-demon, and was probly constantly told by her grandmother that she deserved any and all shit she got. Jamie, however, had a much more normal childhood, even with the elf summers. I think in Jamies case, it’s more a matter of him knowing what fights to pick, especially with Marlot.
On not there.
The basic point is that humor follows different rules of logic at times.
But as logic, I think of having sex with someone. That someone is not present. Now is the someone who is not present male or female?
That all types are not present is not important here. Only the one type is important enough to consider whether it is present or not.
On male viewpoint
Some of the gushiest romance novels, the ones durn few men can stand to read more than a page or two, but just fly into female hands, are written by men. Women are involved in every part of porn production, not just being in the pictures. So it is at least questionable whether our writer’s plumbing will make much difference here.
Given we have a few hundred pages before us already, we should have better evidence there on how well the writer actually gets into the character.